2 years ago
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Sexy Saturdays: Sexy Underthings
I am so tickled to bring you this week's poster. Jen from Outside Looking In is quite possibly one of the sweetest, funniest, talentedest (not a word, but I was going with the "est" theme) gals I've had the pleasure of meeting. She and I haven't known each other for long though. I'm not even sure how she found me on the twitter, maybe at #wineparty(?), but at any rate, I liked her immediately.
She's kind while not holding back with a rapier wit, mucho talented without being vain in the slightest, which we'll have to work on. Let's all boost her ego mmmk? when she finally pointed out her blo to my unobservant brain, I subscribed at once because I knew I couldn't get enough. Plus? Love her photos! You all know how much a love a talented fellow photog!
Make sure you check out her blog and follow her on the twitter. Then? Enjoy!
Andy asked me to write an article about the sex? For her blog?
Am *I* even qualified to talk about the sex? Especially since I call it “the sex”. Should I tell her how long it’s been since the lady bits have seen any genital to genital interaction? This single parenting, it’s a rough gig y’all.
I was going to tell you a story about my post divorce crazy sex phase. That time right after my divorce when I would probably have humped anything that walked, but stuck to those with man genitals. That girl that got married having only done the sex with her now husband then got divorced and HOLY SHIT IS IT SUPPOSED TO FEEL THIS GOOD period. But, I think many of us have those right? That time when you discover lots of new things about the sex and realize that OMG I *CAN* ORGASM DURING SEX…….frequently. ::hallelujah:: And did y’all know that THERE ARE people that ENJOY having their face sat on? I like those people…..a lot.
But, instead I will tell you that tonight I went on a date. With a REALLY cute guy. Who was seemingly normal. Also? There.was.LOTS.of.tension. Sexual tension. The way he put his hand on the small of my back as we walked inside the restaurant. His hot breath on my neck when he whispered in my ear during the movie. His hand on my thigh. The way he grabbed me and kissed me. Oh.em.gee. ::shiver:: The witty banter, the great conversation. It was a phenomenal date.
But, here I sit telling you folks about it instead of STILL ON THE DATE! It’s only 1:00am, I could easily be 3 to 4 orgasms in by now. Don’t think I wasn’t 0.00002 seconds from blurting out “do you wanna come over?” Tonight? I wore unsexy underthings. On purpose. I knew if I wore the old, trusted hipsters that I would not be having the sex tonight. And why on earth would I do that? Because y’all, this guy was so nice and so sweet. I don’t want to mess this up from the start. The post-divorce, sex crazed Jen would have said “screw the date, just come over so we can fuck”.
But sweet, tiny baby Jesus I would have ravaged him in the back seat of that fancy car of his. I would have asked him to come over and teased him the entire way home. Until we busted in the door and he pinned me against the wall. Pulled the buttons right off that cute button down of his and dug my nails into the skin on his back. My bet? He’s just as fantastic without his clothes on as he is with them on.
Date number two is tomorrow night. Date number two is a good night to wear the sexy panties right?
Tags sexy saturdays
- Chicks who do it for me
- Lose Weight Fast with the Heartbreak Diet!
- Margaritas, Weed, and Slut Signals
- epic existential post just in time for that arbitrary changing of the calendar which I so love
- Public Service Announcement
- Horrifying Shit on Pinterest: Slut Shaming E-Cards
- Animal Monster Bird Squawk Dinosaur Creature
- My Doctors Always Suck, otherwise entitled Why I Hate Kaiser
- Sexy Saturdays: Slutty Saturday
- fishcunts and cum dumpsters