Photo of the Day: Around Downtown Portland

I don’t always take photos of flowers and cats. Sometimes I love me some architecture and a clear winter day in downtown Portland is especially lovely. The light gradient absolutely slays me. That sliver of light is just delicious. 

See more here. 

Photo of the Day: Little Miss Hattie

This is my cousin's adorable and utterly precocious little girl. She's 16 months old with enough energy for 6 kids. In other words, the cutest.




See more here. You'll be glad you did!

Photo(s) of the Day: Artsy Fartsy Christmas

I couldn't resist sharing more than one! Happy Holidays, all!






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Photo of the Day: Fluffers

In case we haven't fawned over my boy enough lately.

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Photo of the Day: All the Changing Leaves

Because I can never get enough of those Fall colors.

See more here. 

Photo of the Day: Outside My Front Door

This is what I get to come home to every day.

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Photo of the Day: Wet Leaves

Wet leaves are as much a part of Portland Fall as the rain itself. It also means that, however pretty, one must walk carefully so as to avoid falling on one's ass in the street.

See more here. 

Photo of the Day: Autumn Light

I'm finally taking photos again! Try not to die of shock.

I love Autumn. It's my very favorite and I can't believe I haven't taken more photos of my fave season this year, so I'm making up for it now.

Because I tend to migrate toward macros, I thought I'd play with light and shadow in some full tree shots. What do you think? Isn't this afternoon light just delicious?

See more here.

We didn't come from money

I've been just mildly obsessed with this song lately. Okay, the last month or so. At first, I was just enchanted by the totally delicious harmonies and really thought the lyrics were fairly meh, but the more I listen to it, the more I actually began to identify with it.

I also may have sang it at a little birthday karaoke fun last night and rocked it. Make of that what you will.

The other day, I found myself in a conversation with women I didn't know all that well and they were discussing how much they pay for their fabulous apartments and how worth it it all is and I just sat there with nothing to say, nothing to contribute, because I couldn't identify with these women in any way. I don't begrudge them their fabulous lives and I'm not envious of their fabulous lives; I just simply and truly could not relate.

I pay a fraction of what they do for my tiny little hovel and I have to work to make ends meet even then. But I'm oddly okay with that. I'm doing much better than anyone could probably have anticipated considering where I come from and I'm proud of how much I've done for myself.

Sure, would it have been nice to come from money? To have parents who paid for everything I wanted in life? I guess. That does sound lovely. But on the other hand, I have worked really hard and done some really cool things on my own. And that's pretty damn cool.

In a couple weeks, Eminem and I are moving in together, which is majorly exciting and nervous making and YAYchange! We found an insanely cute house to rent which is really a steal for the space and charm and HUGE yard we're getting. We will be paying a fraction of what many people pay for their wonderful houses and apartments in fabulous places, but that's just fine with us.

We have something better, something within our budget but still really cute and comfortable and (most important) with lots of privacy, because after years and years of apartment living, we cannot wait for the quiet that comes from not sharing ceilings and floors and walls with other people. We have a house! Once it's ours, I'll take some empty house photos for you all so you can see just how damn cute and also before I decorate the shit out of it. I already have tons of crafty plans for it and it's all nested in my head.

I guess my main point of all this is that people just live their lives how they can and so what? There's such a war waging in our culture over money. And rightfully so in lots of ways. But also, those who don't live in very certain ways, or who weren't born into money, are constantly vilified. And why? So those who have more can feel better about it? It's all luck.

Nobody chooses to be born into poverty and those who are born into wealth landed there by pure luck. I'm okay that I didn't come from money. Life wasn't as easy, isn't as easy, but it's mine. I've done it my way and made do and struggled and guess what? I'm okay!

And since I'm doing okay, I can work to speak for those who don't have anything. I can help where I can. I have a lot less than lots of people, but still a lot more than others. I think there's a certain advantage to that, to knowing what it's like to live on very little and therefore have a little understanding for those who still struggle.

This post wasn't meant to be so preachy; I just wanted to share that my life is good and even though we don't have all that much, we're still happy. Imagine that.

Before I leave you, I have to share that I posted two (TWO!) whole sets of new photos over at Double A Photography last week: Wilting Blooms and Little Buds. Here's a sample (Just click on the photos to see the full collections):

How is it July already?

I didn't come to post today with any clear plan of what to talk about. I just haven't posted in like weeks and weeks because I've been totally way busy with life and work and travel and, while I certainly can't complain about that, I did miss writing.

I haven't even posted photos over at Double A Photography in forever because I haven't even had time to edit and upload all the images I have dawdling on my computer. I have more photos of nature than I could possibly know what to do with. You're getting some here today. You're welcome.

Anyway, when I haven't written in a while, I start to feel a little manic, a little crazy. I get all cranky because I don't feel right, like I'm not quite in my body. Inevitably, it's because I haven't made time to download my brain in writing. That and I get all social burn out. I totally had that this week.

Two weekends ago, Eminem and I spent the weekend in the Colombia Gorge hiking and eating and wandering and being awesome.

Real live Bald Eagle we saw at a bird show at Skamania Lodge

Then last weekend, we went to Idaho for a wedding, where I learned that 104 degree dry summers aren't exclusive to inland Southern California. We lounged by the pool and drank some drinkies and got just sunburned enough to show our battle scars but not too much that we would be miserable on the flight home. Win! 

At the wedding.
My sunglasses don't fit my face because my *real* sunglasses broke and I had to buy gas station ones.
Sigh.

Then the next day, I had to go white water rafting for "research," as in my company is going to do a corporate trip and it was my duty to see what it was all about. Poor me. I might be totally lucky to have found a job again that lets me do fun things. Knock on wood!

Me on the back left side there. With the slightly sunburned arm.

I have to say, though, by the time July 4th rolled around, I was damned tired. I was also a little sore from rafting. So I was glad to have a mellow day of sitting around and eating food with just my man and I was even a little testy and cranky to him. Poor guy. There just comes a point where I can't talk any more. Not even one word.

I might also have been a bit hormonal because I took my bc pill like way off schedule during all my traveling and so I started my period just the teeniest bit, but enough to remember the uterus crushing horror that are the cramps one gets when her lady parts are a three ring circus run by the animals.

So by Friday night, when most of my friends were enjoying their 4 day weekend with drinks and social social time, I was curled up with my cat in bed, eating junk food, and enjoying the brilliance that is Sherlock. Damn that show is brilliant.

And then Eminem and I spent the weekend not much differently. We ran a few errands and then planted ourselves firmly on our asses and moved only to eat and hydrate. It was glorious. It takes a special man to share an entire weekend of laziness with you. I love that man.

Photo of the Day: Hat on Mount Hood

Some days I’m so happy I live in Oregon.

Photo of the Day: Rainy Days

Today I am sick in bed so I’m sharing a shot with you I took last fall. Fall in Portland is pretty much like Spring in Portland: rainy. Only you get slightly different colors. Click here for more rainy day photos. 

Photo of the Day: Shades of Wheat and Gold

I've decided, in what might be an all too ambitious plan, to start Photo of the Day back up over here on the blog with coordinated posts over at Double A Photography. That's the plan anyway! Enjoy! Click here for more.

Having a job is clearly bad for your health

It's my second post in a week! Wha? Are you people loving my unemployment or what?

I have to say, it's not been hard to slip into. I always hear people who talk about how they could never work from home or couldn't not go to a job every day, but I think those people are rationalizing having to go to a job every day. AmIright?

I've been busy! I don't get bored, because I have tons to do and I get to do it in my pajamas or jeans or from my bed or a coffee shop. I've been working on my new website (please go check it out!) and ordering business cards and looking for work like crazy and (!) I've been exercising. Shocking, I know. With all the health stuff that had been happening the last year or so, it feels so great to have time to go for a long walk or hike and, now that it's rainy in Portland again, work out in my living room. And not being chained to a desk? So much better for my ever-widening ass, regardless of what my boyfriend says about how bootilicious I am.

I hate those people who talk about their workouts or get all sanctimonious about their health, but I have to say that I think the one big detriment to my health was work! Now that I have time to exercise and less stress and I've been getting sleep (both because I'm not stressed about going to work, but also because I don't have to get up at 6am), I feel great! Sure, I don't have any money and I have to hustle like karazay to get an income (hello, unemployment, ugg), but I feel good.

When I first moved to Portland, I worked from home for almost a year and it was the most glorious year of my life, second to living in France, bien sur. Today, I walked down to a coffee shop and met with my financial advisor (yes, I have one. I DID use to have a job after all.) and we talked about my plans and got my investments in order for this new phase, which also felt great! And now I'm sitting in the shop doing some writing and drinking a ginourmous tea and then I'll look for more work and then who knows! Maybe I'll clean my house or something.

I think I'm scaring the other coffee shop people

And then because I don't have much money, I have to be economical with my food purchasing, which ends up being healthier in a sense. It's cheaper to buy a bag of potatoes or rice and a block of cheese and maybe some eggs and make those stretch than eat fast food, which seems cheap but isn't. And, because I was raised pretty durn poor, I'm good at cooking those types of foods. Sure, I suck at cooking fancy foods, but I can't afford fancy ingredients right now anyway. And, again, I apologize if I sound sanctimonious, because mama loves a good burger and fries (oh yes she does), but being forced to cook more is helping my waistline.

I know I'm not FAT per se (I know okay? so stop telling me.), but I did gain a lot of weight this past year (blame it on being in love) and while I'm not in danger yet, I could easily get really fat if I don't change a few things. This year it's 25 pounds and then next year it's 30 and then the next thing I know, I'll be sewing my own mumus because no stores even make my size. A girl just has to keep that in check.

Besides, I can't afford to shop right now so it behooves me to not gain any weight. Because, you know, what would I wear?

Brilliant segue.

I know I never updated anyone on my health/bladder situation, so here it is. I saw a bladder-gyno specialist (I forget his real title) and got the most uncomfortable exam of my life (though he was very kind and comforting) and discovered parts of my lady bits that I didn't even know existed (ugg) and he asked me a thousand questions and I had to keep a urinary diary (double ugg) and then consensus is that it's one of three (or two) things.

First, I'm not getting actual bladder infections (UTIs), but it could be an infection of the urethra or some other place with a big name that I can't remember but which wouldn't show up in a urinalysis. And there's no way to know if that's the case unless I get another infection.

The other thing it could be is endometriosis, which I know I have around my uterus and ovaries and apparently it's possible to attach to my bladder as well. Hooray.

Because I'm unemployed now, however, I also don't have insurance. So this great doctor saw fit to prescribe me antibiotics that target the lady parts, which I filled a couple weeks ago and can keep on hand in case another "infection" comes up. If those clear it up, that's probably what it is.

If those don't clear it up, it's probably endo, which the doc would first use a scope to look inside my bladder and/or do a laparoscopy to clean it all up (which would happily include my uterus too), but which is a minimally invasive procedure (still not awesome), and which I'd still need insurance to pay for. Zoinks.

And even though I've known about my endo for years and years, I've chosen not to have a laparoscopy because I prefer to manage with birth control pills, which I take continuously so as not to have a period. Glory be. And my old doc wanted to wait until I wanted to get preggers (because it gives you a fertility window), which he always wanted more than me, the judgey prick, but since I have no plans to get knocked up any any any time soon, I really didn't see the benefit when I can just skip my periods.

Of course, if it's causing my bladder issues, that's another story. But, again, insurance. Health care is so fucked.

But! I've been feeling good and maybe with my new, laissez faire lifestyle, I won't get sick and this is all moot. One can hope right?

Before I leave you, I'll beg you once again to go check out my new photography website and then go like the facebook page and then please tell your friends! Mama needs work! Me love you long time.

Ch ch ch chaaaanges

Hideyho, friends. It has been an insane month, which is why I haven't written. Like at all. Because I was dealing with the madness. All the madness.

So much madness.

As of last Thursday, I am officially an unemployed person. For reasons which I can't even get into and to which I've come to terms. It wasn't easy, let me tell you what. I really struggled with this for a while and I felt my toes dipping into the pool of depression, which I don't think is unreasonable. Anyone would get sad and scared and feel a bit lost when making a huge life change and also face the possibility of not supporting oneself.

I don't think it's unreasonable to avoid homelessness. That's really all I ask.

Not that my friends and fam would actually let me be literally homeless. But you get what I mean.

And I was grieving the job I worked so hard to fit in to for the past two years. You work so hard to make yourself one way and when it turns out that it's not actually possible to change yourself, it's a bit of a hard fall. Sometimes you can't make yourself fit if you just don't fit.

And I've decided that's okay. The bottom dollar is that it's not just about my happiness or following my dreams or whatever, which are important and which I'm going to do, but if I'm not the person for the job, then I won't succeed. I can't set myself up to fail anymore and so I won't. I'll follow my passion and work my ass off to do so and hopefully the money follows.

And that passion is photography. And writing and any creative endeavors I find, of course. But it's all about the photography. I think, I know, I have a talent for it and it's work that I do well because I love doing it. It makes me truly happy.

So I am looking for some steady employment in the mean time, but the end goal is professional photographer.

I can do it all, from weddings to engagement sessions to family, baby, and pet portraits, to business photography like head shots and real estate photography. Because I'm just starting out, my rates are reasonable and I'll work with you to find an affordable package for your budget.

Tell your friends! I'll need YOUR help to make it as a photographer and I'm counting on your support, friends. I've appreciated you guys so much over the years and I know you're in my corner.

There's a link to my photo site in the top navigation (expect a more dynamic site as I start to make money) or you can find it here. Also, please go like my photography facebook page! And you can still find me on Twitter @andygirl.

I'll be blogging more here as well, at least that's the plan, and you can still find me at Spocket Ink.

Is...how you say...freezing!

It's been colder than Santa's balls here in Portland the last few weeks. I assume Santa's balls are cold on account of the North Pole being pretty chilly and he doesn't look like he gets much action. So, as you can imagine, pretty damn cold.

We've gotten a little snow here and there, though nothing to brag about, but it's mostly been just damn cold and clear and icy and foggy. Most Portlanders would kill me for saying this, but I can't wait for the rain to come back. But that will warm things up a bit! Yikes it's cold out there.

So last weekend, Eminem and I drove a good three hours out of Portland to a cabin his folks have and then I promptly started to get a cold, which made me, per usual, a cranky, dramatic pain in the ass. But, my man handled it like a champ. As he always does. Which is why I love him.

But, even though I was getting sick, I refused to drive all that way just to watch football and movies and eat enough gluten free cookies to last me through the apocalypse, so I drug our freezing asses outside and we walked around a frozen lake and I got some great photos out of it. Totally worth losing my nose to frostbite, but that's what committed photographers are all about.



Then I came home to a week from hell. Between this cold that threatened to be the flu and feeling some immense stress from work and then some other shit which I just can't talk about, it was hard. Super hard yo.

Then a friend told me (so, you know, a very reliable source) that historically, that's the most depressing week of the year. Something to do with it being fucking freezing and everyone's stressed from coming off the holidays, blah blah blah. So that made me feel better.

And Saturday I got to go to my very first Trail Blazer's game. And even though they lost and even though I thought I might get into a LA girl throw down more than a few times (because that's how California girls do it. so don't fuck with us.), I had fun!

Still, even though it was freezing all night, a great reward for trudging along in the cold to do something with your guy that he genuinely loves is always cuddling with a human radiotor that makes you tea and breakfast in the morning. In case you missed it, my boyfriend is a human radiator. The man emits heat that could cure a hypothermia victim. Hospitals should keep him on standby.

As one parting thought, I've never liked the term "pussy whipped" for what I hope are obvious reasons. It's a horrible term. But I now own apparel for pretty much all of my boyfriend's favorite sports teams (except the Pats. because I'll always be a Niners girl).

So you tell me who's whipped.

So this one time, I went to India...

Did you miss me? The reason I was gone for so long, my friends, was because I was in India! What? Yes, yes it's true. I had the amazing opportunity to accompany my aunt on a trip to the Golden Triangle in India. Why? For fun. Just to be tourists. Because why the hell not? Because it's INDIA!

I truly had an incredible time. I took well over a thousand photos, which I guarantee will take me a year to get through and edit and upload. I ate a ton of good food, none of which made me sick, bee tee double you, contrary to what everyone told me (because, you know, I didn't eat food off the street like an idiot).

And I saw people, animals, palaces, mosques, temples, forts, and experienced a new place which I won't even attempt to do justice because travel to a place so different to what you've experienced is really the only way to best understand it. And I have a thousand stories to tell, which I don't even know where to start telling. Also: tiger safari. Tiger. Fucking. Safari. Enough said.

For now, here's a small sampling of photos I took. Many, many, many more to come.

Check check...is this thing on?

Wellll helloooo there. It's been a gazillion years since we last had a little chit chat. I apologize, I do, but I've just been so durn busy! And I meant to write last weekend. I have a whole catchup to give you plus another Mormon Girl/Atheist Girl post plus adoption craps.

But that was not to be.

Last Sunday was like the perfect day to get everything done. I slept in with the boyfriend, went grocery shopping, cleaned my whole house (except laundry), started painting drawers to a dresser I painted a few weekends ago, and settled in to write.

THEN! dun dun duuuuuuuun...my computer stopped charging suddenly. And this comp is on its last legs, like seriously. Like there might be a little duct tape holding parts together. But I have to coax this baby along until at least next year. Right now all my money is going into this India trip in December so I cannot purchase a new baby right now.

So, hoping it wasn't anything more serious than a dead charger, I left the thing backing up (just in case) and hoofed it to downtown PDX to get a new power adapter. The only annoyance was that the Portland marathon was that day, but parking a little far meant I got my fat ass (more on that later) moving anyway. Anywayyyyyyy, long story short (too late), it was just the charger. The battery is fairly shot too, but I'm not buying a whole new battery for this dying comp so I just have to leave it plugged in for like always.

But! I forgot to mention that I also left wetly painted drawers outside on my porch to dry. And as I got home, I see my hideous asshole upstairs neighbors on their porch grilling. And what did I find all over my drawers? Grill grossness and porch grossness that they'd swept off right onto my stuff. And they knew I'd been painting. So, like any mature non-passive-aggressive person would do, I shouted, "ASSSHOLES!" up at the porch and tried to clean up my drawers and bring them inside.

I would like to state for the record that should they meet their untimely deaths while I live below them, I didn't do it. I am not a killer. But I might celebrate inside just a little.

This is what apartment living does to a person.

So needless to say I was too tired and stressed to do any writing after that.

And the weekend before was my other cousin's wedding. Yes, my cousins (the three of us are like sisters) got married within a couple months of each other. Which, despite being expensive, worked out for me because I was sort of off the hook. I had to go by myself (because Eminem was in Vegas, the brat) and was so dreading all the relatives going, "So are you next? Where's your boyfriend?" And while they did ask about my boyfriend, because they're all weddinged out, they were like, "You're not next right? Tell us you won't get married soon." Awesome.

Here are some photos I took. I was not the photographer and didn't even take my camera because it's getting serviced, but my aunt had no idea how to use her new point and shoot, so I took it off her hands. Some of these tured out great. It was a nice, little camera!



But I will be shooting a wedding next weekend! Like for strangers, a real wedding gig. It's very exciting and I can't wait to share all the photos with you guys.

Speaking of, when I started this blog and when I started my flickr page, I never had any intentions of working as a photographer. It was just my art and my hobby. But now I think I need to rebrand to something more professional and use my real name. This is scary, especially because of the whole stalker situation I had a couple years back, but I think it's necessary. Thoughts? It means I'd connect this blog with my photography pages and I'd be exposing my real name in this forum.


And the new name (from Crazy Lady Photography) is.....drum roll please.....

Double A Photography

Because my last name starts with an A. What do you think?


I probably won't be starting a new blog just for my photography, but I'm thinking I may do a photography facebook page. What do you guys think? Too much? Not enough? I'll also be working on a logo.

Eek! So much to do!

Aaaaaaaaand....

Halloween is coming up and it's FALL! I love Fall. I love leaves and the weather gets brisk and I can burn pumpkin spice candles. What are you going as for Halloween? I'm not telling what my costume will be, but I'll share photos after! You all know I love making my own costumes and I'm making Eminem dress up with me. It's gonna be awesome!

the epic and severely overdue catchup post

Look at me! Posting on my blog! Hallelujah praise baby jeebus.

Seriously though, I can hardly be blamed for skipping writing for, oh I don't know, a MONTH, because life has been totally insane. Yesterday felt like the first relaxed and free day I've had in a million years.

First, I had that ten days in California, which was so jam packed and whirlwindy that I so needed a vacation when I got home (and more on that trip in a bit). But it was right back to work and then to a work retreat, which I planned and organized and which I'm not complaining about because I love doing that stuff, but was another busy, whirlwindy time.



And I felt like I was battling a bug before that trip and I kept on fighting it on through the whole next two weeks, during which time I helped coordinate an office reorganization (like physical reorganization, like office and cubicles and phone lines and shit) and which I worked on today as well.

Last Thursday was the denouement of sorts of my mystery flu. I woke up Thursday with an insane migraine and it just got worse and worse as the day progressed and I ran around and lugged boxes and shit. By the time I left work, I was dizzy and nauseated and felt like death, pure death. I started feeling a teeny better about 8 or so that night, slept and slept and woke up Friday feeling fantastic.

Soooo clearly I'd excised my demons. I've never had an exorcism, but I'm pretty sure that's what it feels like. Plus, imagine how powerful I am to have done it on myself. All bow to my power.

And like I said, I worked some hours this morning, but I finally have a moment to sit down and write. Ahhhhhh.

So, let me back up. The California trip! I'll just give you some highlights.

First bit of drama was at PDX airport. I had to check a bag, so I decided to just check in at the airport. I go check in, get my boarding pass, kiss my boyfriend goodbye, and get into the long line to security. I get up to the first TSA guard who checks to see if your ID and boarding pass match and he goes, "This isn't your boarding pass." And then I had a heart attack. Turns out, the lady at Alaska switched my boarding pass with some chick named Rachel (which is funny, because that was my name for the two months before I was adopted, though I doubt TSA cares about that). Luckily, one of the guards took pity on my about-to-bawl-if-I-miss-my-flight face and took my to the desk to get my real pass and let me cut back into my place in line. Shout out to the guard at PDX! Sweetheart.

And I made my flight.

You all know I was there for my cousin's wedding right? The best thing was renting this deliciously pretty lens for the trip. I now must make this lens my own. I must. It's my precious and I can feel body deteriorating without it. I hate my other lenses now, my shitty, pathetic lenses. The losers.



So first, I did several things all wrong. I was trying to save money because I'll need some dough when I go to India in December, so I didn't rent a car or get a hotel room. And I know my cousin kept telling me I wasn't a problem and wasn't getting in the way (and, admittedly, I did clean house and make drinks and food, so I think I was a big help), but if I'd sprung for a hotel, I would've been one less body in her house. And I really really really should've found a way to rent a car. It would've been helpful on my cousin, but it would've also given me more freedom and I could've spent more time with other friends and fam. But oh well. Live and learn right?

The other thing I should've done was find a way to take my boyfriend with me. Because the last trip down with a guy was so disastrous, I had decided a long ago that I wouldn't take a date to the wedding. But then as Eminem and I were doing great, I realized that I did want everyone to meet him and he won't have another chance for a long while. Plus, I missed him like crazy and I really did need someone there for me, someone to keep me sane when I was getting super stressed out. He was great and was texting me sweetness the whole time. But I really did need him there. But I lived, so, oh well.

I did get to my best friend's house in the desert and got to meet my new nephew Lucas, aka the youngest old man in the whole world with the puffiest, pinchiest cheeks you will ever ever see.



I really wish I'd gotten more time with them, but I will get to see them at Christmas. At which point, Lucas will probably be a foot taller and riding a bike and reading and shit. Sigh. Such is life.

I did get to see my dad, though, and I was struck by just how OLD he's gotten in the last year. The man always looked like Einstein, but now he looks like Mark Twain, his hair is so white! He and I also used to make fun of old people who would read all the signs out loud. Yeah, he does that now. He shuffled around the mall with me and he announced all the signs. 50% off sale. Hot Topic. AT&T. Pretty Nail.

This last story I hesitate to share and I'm holding back many of the details until it unfolds. Okay, here goes:

My aunt (the mother of the bride) is alllll about geneology. She's like way into it and has done tons of work on our family. Anyway, so this aunt was giving me a ride and she needed some part on her car, so she and I are sitting in the waiting room of a Subaru (you know, the official state car of Oregon) dealership and chatting as two ladies are wont to do. We got to talking about my biological family (I'm adopted) and I told her how years ago, I found out my parents' names, etc, but never could find any more info. I also haven't opened my records or anything.

So she pulls out her iPad, signs into her Ancestry.com account, types away, and after a little search, finds my mother. Seriously. And right there on the screen is a photo of my biological mom and sister. Right there. And I they looked like me, which is the craziest feeling if you've never ever seen what a blood relative looks like. I'm not sharing that photo yet because I just feel like that's wrong somehow. I'll explain in a sec.

So then it took off from there. Turns out my mom died when I was little, though I don't know why yet and I'm going to order her death certificate to find out. we did a ton of research on my family and I have a notebook full of genealogical history from my mom's side. And then we found my sister, like I have an address and a recent photo of her and everything. From some of the info we found, I think she's aware of me, but the ball is clearly in my court because she'd have no way of know who I am. So, I'm going to write her a letter. I admit that I haven't even started it and while I don't want to waste much time, I do want to write it carefully and find the right words. That's partly why I want to wait to share the photo; I don't want to find her through this blog, because I want to contact her myself.

Here's a baby picture of me instead:

Crazy right? The best way to describe how I'm feeling is cautiously excited. I'm nervous to be sure, but way more curious than anything. Wish me luck!

I'm also coming up on two big events. Next week, I'll turn 32 and Eminem and I will have dated for six months. I'm totally happy about both.

Aaaaand scene.

Lindsey & John: The Wedding

Guess what? I was in California last week for my cousin's wedding. It was an insane whirlwind of a trip, which I'm sure I'll blog about later, but for now, the dessert first!

I have many, many photos of the bridal shower and the wedding prep and rehearsal, but I know what you really want are the wedding photos.



The wedding was small and lovely. Very vintage and beachy and sweet. And everyone cried.