Monday, September 27, 2010

parents love me or they hate me

My darling friend Lizzy has this new blog hop happening: Words of a Wanton Woman:
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And I've decided to play along. You should too. This also officially counts as me pimping this out. Done and done.

So this week's topic is meet the parents. Hooboy. Should this one be fun!

Generally, parents love me. Especially dads. I get the, "you let me know if he doesn't treat you right" speech pretty often. I love dads. They make life easy.

And with the exception of D's mom, who loved me too, moms can be a leetle protective of their sons. D's mom, though, was hilarious. The first time I met her, she stuck me against the wall and added my height measurement in pencil to those of her kids and their many friends and partners. She was just an uncommonly warm and welcoming woman (how's THAT for alliteration?).

But the mom who takes the cake is Joe's mom. (Joe is not his real name, but it's pretty damn close and he is the one ex who I would punch in the throat if I could because he's a little douchebag so I have no qualms using close to his real name.)

She hated me. HATED me. Seriously. Joe was her baby. And that made me the antichrist.

Apparently, even though she didn't take any time to get to know me in the slightest, my only goal was to steal her baby boy away and ruin him for all eternity. In her defense, that not that far from the truth. Snort. Riiiiight.

But really though, I don't mind if someone doesn't care for me. There are certainly plenty of people out there who aren't my biggest fans (shocking I know!) and I'm okay with that. Can't please 'em all. But I'd like that dislike based in some reality, especially if I'm seriously dating your son and you may have to deal with me for some long period of time in the foreseeable future.

Aside: that thought makes me throw up just a little bit.

But try to get to know me, woman! I was making an effort. She could have too. And if she still didn't like me, well then okay. But if I'm just a mysterious threat based in paranoia and an Oedipus complex, well that I'm not so cool with.

I could share many stories in which she did her damndest to snub me and make me feel unwelcome, but I'm feeling like that's all in the past and I'm over it. No need to drudge up old grudges.

But here is my advice for meeting parents:

  1. It's trite but true: you can only be yourself. You can't make anyone like you. Either your partner cares about his (or her) parents' opinion or doesn't. And THAT'S what you need to know.
  2. If a guy is so attached to his mother that if she hates you you're never going to win? Well, honey. That's how it is. You may have to accept that he'll never cut the apron strings and his mom is more important to him than a relationship. Move on.
  3. Being polite never hurt anyone. I'm a big believer in holding the higher ground. When Joe's mom was acting like a snatch, I was sweet as pie. It didn't make one hell of a difference in my case, but I still felt like a good person. 
  4. Be aware of the parents who like you too much. They may take it awfully hard when you break up. Just sayin'. 
  5. Everyone likes baked goods. If they don't, run. That's just a bad sign. 

19 comments mean you love me:

meredithblumoff said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

everyone DOES like baked goods! that's, like, my guiding principle in life. (obv.)

leymilne said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Ugh. Apron strings!! I dated a guy for four years that was so attached to his mommy that when we moved in together, he refused to live farther than a five minute drive from her. Ya, red flag? I ignored you when I shouldn't have!

Don't just beware the parents that love you too much, be careful when they start throwing around phrases like "unconditional love", because heaven help you when that shit bites you in the ass!

KLZ said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

My boyfriend of two months broke up with me when I was 15. His mother refused to speak to him for a whole month she was so offended he'd dumped me.

And even though rejection hurt, I realized I'd dodged a bullet.

I mean, a whole month!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Mer- well that's what makes you so awesome!

Ley- exactly!

KLZ- a month? too much. some people are too much.

soccermom said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am one of those moms that it will be tough for any girl that my son brings home.
But
I won't be a total bitch.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I think tough is okay as long as it's not irrational. :)

Suniverse said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

The husband didn't meet my parents until we were going to get married. They had no interest [different backgrounds/religions] and weren't going to waste their time on someone who might not be around.

Now? They love him more than they love me.

kris said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I didn't meet that many parents before meeting my husband-to-be. And that was 24 years ago.

They didn't like me at first.

But they did love their son.

And baked goods.

So we made it work.

Snort!

Bitter Betty said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Heaven help the girl that comes home with my son! That's all I'm sayin!

Mor to the gan said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Ooooooh the ex stories I could tell. This was funny. Kudos, chick.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Sun- so the moral is get married first and they'll get onboard eventually. I like it.

Kris- thank god for baked goods! snort.

Krissy-you know the girls are coming soon too!

Morgan-thanks, darlin!

we hate you. love, us said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

that mom that added your height to the wall sounds adorable!

My hubby's mom really likes me...but it's almost to the point that she forgets she's not my real mom. Like, almost too into my business. It makes me want to snap at her, but I think you give good advice: smile and be polite.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

she was!

good advice from a single girl. heehee. at least I've met LOTS of moms. :D

Liz said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

there are more than a couple guys married to girls i know whose moms still haven't cut the cord. i could never marry a guy like that!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

right? me either.

Kelley said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I found your blog via Studio Thirty Plus and I am so glad I did. You are cracking me up! I loved reading your interview. I look forward to reading more of your stuff!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

aw thanks, Kelley! welcome and thanks for reading/cracking up! :D

Boonie S said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Very witty post. Thanks.

All the best, Boonie

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks, Boonie!

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