Tuesday, September 21, 2010

hair cuts and language barriers

I spent most of my day at the DMV today, but I don't want to talk about that yet. I'll tell you about that some other day.

Because I want to tell you about my hair cut.

Myyyyyy hair cut.

After the DMV, I went to get my hair cut.

I went to a beauty school to get my hair cut today. This is not my first time doing so. But it is the first for this particular beauty school.

I went in for a tiny trim (maybe half an inch) and to get a few layers in front. See, I'm growing my bangs out and I wanted to add some layers to make the bangage less obvious. More on purpose. I was a little worried about the layers, but not at all about the trim. Easy peasy.

First bad sign: the lady assigned to cut my hair didn't speak much English. Now, I support her right to not speak much English. In fact, I support her right to not speak English at all. However. How to the ever lovin ever, how was I to communicate what I wanted when she didn't speak my language?

Side note: I got my hair cut when I lived in Paris. But I researched how to say what I wanted (and my French was fairly good by then) and even confirmed with my French teacher before going for the cut. And it turned out great.

So anyway, she barely understood me. When I introduced myself, she looked at me like I had three heads. Right.  So I was pretty nervous by this point.

She sits me down and I explain with many hand gestures and demonstrations what I want done. She nods and off we go to shampoo and condition my hair.

Where we spend the next sixty years.

I swear. How long does it take to wash hair? You can't fuck this part up! It's clean, woman. You did good. But my neck is killing me laying my head in a sink (Pee Ess, who designed those? There is no way someone thinks those are comfortable) for the last several decades. Let's move it along.

After we get back to her station, my hair is now grey and I explain, once again, what I want done.

She combs and clips up sections and pulls a tiny amount from the bottom and clips it. Then (and this was pretty cute), she shows me in her hand the amount of hair she's just clipped. "Like dis?" "Perfect," I say. Just half an inch.

Then she proceeds to take another 60 years to trim up the rest of the back of my hair. I wasn't complaining about that. She seemed methodical and I guess that's better if you want someone inexperienced to do a good job. Even if I was falling asleep and the top of my hair was completely dry by the time she got to it. Aaaaaaaand, it's not like I could see what she was doing back there.

Oh! Side note: at no point was this woman supervised. When I had my hair done at a beauty school in LA (granted, an Aveda school but still), supervisors kept a close watch.

Then she starts on the front. Where I explain what I want yet again. She starts doing a bowl-cutty type thing from my bangs down and I have to stop here and say I want more chunky layers. Which I suppose freaked her out. Because I couldn't get her to put in very many layers at all. I mean, it's like she barely did anything to the front.

But that's not the worst of it. Okay, so the layers are pretty invisible. But she didn't take a half inch off the bottom. No. Woman took like 3 inches. My hair is all gone! My hair that was getting long. That I'd been growing out for so long. Is all gone! I have shoulder length hair again. Goddammit.

By the time I'd figured this out, it was too late of course. How was I suppose to get my hair back? I can't. Exactly.

I will not be sharing pictures because I am so fucking unhappy with my hair right now.

Here's what it kinda looked like before 
(except I'm way cuter than Katie Holmes, obviously. I mean, who did her hair? It's awful):

And here's what it's like now:
Just kidding.

It's more like:

Oh Mandy Moore, I hate you hard. 


Moral of the story: you should always speak the same language as your hair stylist.

19 comments mean you love me:

mylittlebecky said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

ugh. that is *such* an awful feeling! sorry, pumpkin. i'm absolutely positive that it's not as bad as you think. because you're a stone cold fox.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks, honey. you're too sweet! I had just been growing it for so long. I feel like I was just set back several months.

Natalie said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

All true!! You should ALWAYS speak the same language! And sometimes that doesn't work the way you want it to, either!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I know right? love to you, Natalie!

Steph said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I would have asked to see a teacher or someone in charge when I figured out she was not really understanding me...Sorry you had such a bad experience

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

yeaaaaah. I kinda thought she had when she showed me the hair trim. and then I couldn't see. oh well.

E said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

that sucks! and that is also why my sister-in-law does my hair. She works at an Aveda salon and if she makes me look bad I would tell the whole world it was her who did it, plus she has to be seen with me, I have to look good and she makes sure of it :)

I am sure your hair isn't as bad as you think, it just isn't what you wanted. Sorry you have to regrow it out.

Lynnette said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

yes, speaking the same language is a must, live and learn! And I am going to say it looks much better than either of the after photos, granted it's not at all what you wanted, but it's not bad. The bangs do look more deliberate instead of growing out. I do acknowledge that it's nothing like what you described.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

yes to both! it's not so bad. but it's not what I wanted. and I didn't want it shorter.

we hate you. love, us said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

OH NO!!! It takes FOREVER to grow out my hair, so I cannot imagine how freaked out I would have been. How could she be unsupervised?! She's a student - therefore she needs a teacher. Not only to teach her but, you know, to make sure she doesn't chop your hair off. Sad Face.

The Savage said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

The last time I had hair and had a hair cut (4 billion years prior to today) the old man who did it focused on one side of my noggin. Being I guy I didn't have to spend the enormous sums of money women have to pay.. it was like 8 bucks... Oh did I ever get my money's worth... the right side of my head had the perfect trim.. my neck line had the perfect taper and fade... the top looked smashing... the left side was a Peruvian jungle and I am quite sure that one of the 7 cities of gold was amongst the follicles somewhere...
Thankfully I now dye it invisible...

On a side note.. you are so much hotter, prettier and more beautiful than the three womens in the pics you posted here...

The Barreness said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I would murder the woman.

Though, let's not lie...

You may want to punch Mandy in her oh-so-sweet-and-gently-lisping mouth, but her hair is actually kinda awesome.

Also from the sounds of commenters more "in the know" than I, I suspect you can pull it off.

- B x

Suniverse said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I hate hate hate getting hair cuts. It's been years since I've had a decent cut. Add a language barrier? I'm out.

I'm sure you're still so so pretty, but the loss of 3 inches when you're growing your hair is painful.

PS - so much prettier than Katie Holmes.

steff said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

ugh. i hate that feeling. i remember my mom cutting my hair too much when i was younger and not speaking to her for a week. ive been trying to grow my hair out for what feels like a lifetime now and im usually my own undoer. i have this obsessive need to "trim" my hair from time to time and it ends up being more of a crazy hack-fest with me trying to "even things out" but it really turns into me just "fucking things up".
i also know what you mean about the length of time the hair schools end up taking. i made the mistake of getting my hair did for my junior prom at a school and a simple half-up do took close to 3 hours. by the time i got home it looked like a lopsided mess so i basically had to style it myself which caused me to be SUPER late for the dance and my date was shitting himself bc he thought i stood him up.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

oh thanks for all the sympathy and compliments, guys! you guys are total awesome sauce!!!

Wombat Central said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You'd think they'd have photos you can point to if she can't speak English. Sorry you've had a hairum scarum. I've had so many bad experiences, I did a whole post on hairdressers from hell once. Hope it grows out soon!'

PS Mandy's cute too...

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I really should have taken a picture. oh well.

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

It'll grow back, baby.

Unlike Ryan Adams' coolness, because he broke my heart by marrying Mandy Moore.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks, honey. I know.

really? but Mandy is so annoying.

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