In fact, it was such an easy breakup that now I'm wondering if we broke up at all. If I imagined that, I'm sorry, Fella! Tell me that's what happened.
Anyway, we were a pretty bad match. Our personalities just did not mesh and thinking back, I'm hard pressed to find anything we have in common. Not that you need everything in common in a relationship, but shouldn't you have something?
Well, we both felt that and I think we're both relieved, because it kind of felt forced there for a bit.
But I have to wonder, at what point does one start settling for someone totally wrong for them just because he's a nice guy or is a good potential mate on paper? 10 years ago, I never would have even gotten this far, but the older I get, the more I want to give someone a chance. Is that desperation? Or just a sign that the pool of good guys is dwindling?
Is it too much to want someone who suits me completely? Or what qualities will I begin to compromise on the older I get?
The thing is...I like being alone though. I'm independant as hell and I like me and enjoy the pleasure of my own company. I've never been one to settle for the sake of being in a relationship because why waste my time? Not to say that I haven't slept with people that weren't relationship material. THAT'S something else entirely. But I won't dedicate my time to a relationship that's not going to suit me. Why should I?
It's not 1850. I don't have to get married. Instead, I want a relationship because I want love and intimacy and connection with someone special. And as my friend Lori helped me figure out, I want to look up to a man, admire him, feel safe, but not weak and needy.
But I also recognize that I want to be a mother one day (like yesterday) and that is unlikely to happen alone (why helloooo, Turkey Baster) and parenthood is damn hard alone (as you single moms tell me). So I wonder if there will come a point that I lower my expectations just for the sake of becoming a mother.
Not that I will. Or won't. I don't know what the future holds and I don't know that I have the answer as to what one should or shouldn't do. I just wonder. Maybe you smartipants readers have some thoughts?
Anywayyyyy, that brings me to a command decision. In the meantime, while I'm waiting to find someone great for me, I'm starting a harem.
I'll be taking applications starting now. Qualifications:
- Must be witty and intelligent. Nothing is sexier than someone who can teach me something and make me laugh.
- No limits on build and age, except: you must be taller than 5'7" and/or big enough so that if I sit on you, you don't break.
- Must have plenty of sexual experience. I don't have the time to teach you anything other than my personal preferences and how I sound when I'm really, really, really happy.