So I'm 32 days into the celibacy thing and I have to say...I'm loving it!
Wait. First, go read this post about why I started this in the first place. Back? Okay then.
On the one hand, not much has actually changed in terms of physical sex. I didn't have that much sex before anyway and I'm still having a grand time with my favorite girlfriend anyway: Goldie. Goldie never disappoints.
But the point was not about sex. It was about not dating. About not looking for love. About taking myself out of the game.
It's quite awesome actually. I'm not really scoping anyone for potential anything. I still admire a fine form. I still fantasize. I still get horny. But there's not the option or potential, so therefore there's no stress. It's brilliant.
However, I've been getting mixed reactions.
Most people my age and over, especially women, think it's an awesome idea. A great way to pull my soul aside and give it time to recuperate.
Most (not all) younger people, especially guys, think it's stupid. After all, they insist, isn't life all about getting laid? Isn't it all about searching for a partner? You never know what might happen so keep your options open.
*condescendingly patting their heads*
Look, life is not as short as we think. It's actually quite long and, by 30, three months off isn't that much. It's an incredibly short time to take a dating break. If I'd really been committed to the idea, I would've taken a year off or more. And I just might. If I get to 90 days and feel like I need more time, I'll take it.
Also, sex is wonderful. It's delicious. It's healthy. I will never, ever (I hope) claim that sex is bad.
But it's also not the be-all end-all of life. There are a million things to do and experience and the past month has been so quick yet I've truly enjoyed how my celibacy has changed the dynamic of human interaction. I'm learning a lot there.
Again, however, it's also not about sex per se. It's about removing potential for sex and love and coupling from the equation completely.
Which has been enjoyable. Has been a relief.
As I've gotten older, I've felt the pressure to look for love weigh upon me more and more. To keep my head in the game. To keep giving chances no matter how many times my heart broke or I was treated terribly.
There's something with that. It meant that my interactions weren't organic, weren't natural, and my radar was skewed because of it.
I needed to reset how I thought. How I perceived people. How I interacted with the world.
So this is a reboot. Shutting down so that I can reset and when I boot that part of my life up again, I can see things in a fresh light.
After all, when in doubt, reboot.
Have you thrown up from my computer analogy yet?
Also: I haven't shaved anything. It's awesome.
Less than 60 days to go. I predict it will be too fast.
2 years ago