Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Random Thoughts of a Crazy Lady

As you may have heard, we had friends in town this past weekend. And Sunday, I was awoken the way no one ever wants to be awoken, by being scared the shit out of (did that sentence make sense?).

I don't close the door to my room all the way, because the cats like to sleep on my bed and they need to come and go to access things like their food and water and kitty litter. The latter being the most important really. Really. That would be bad. Plus they go nuts if they're all locked up in that tiny space.

Jeté likes to sleep on my bed most of the night (and be right there when I wake up) and Hobbes had been hiding all weekend because people scare him as is, but 4 tiny, screeching humans are his worst nightmare.

Anyway, so Sunday morning, I was half asleep, trying to keep a dream going while tuning out the sounds of children squealing. As they do first thing in the morning. I then I heard a whisper in my room: kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty

I roll over and see this:


I swear to all things unholy that is what I saw. Through the crack in my doorway, my friend Corey was smiling and whispering at my cat. It was the scariest fucking thing to wake up to. I swear. 
The only thing my half asleep brain could manage was, "What the hell are you doing? Go away!" Really witty, I am. 

I dare you to wake up to that and think of something witty. 

~~~~~~~~~~

So for some reason, my tits have been hurting so damn badly the past week. Like, for no reason. Aunt Flo isn't calling until next week and they started hurting over a week ago.

So damn painful! Like taking my bra off is the most excruciating experience since cutting off my feet. Just kidding. It's not quite as bad as that. Just kidding. I never cut off my feet.

It's a good thing I'm doing the whole celibacy thing because if someone tried to touch my tits in the last week or so, I'd rip out his heart and feed it to the crows. 

And now that I'm closer to The Period, my boobs hurt less. Go figure.

Anyway, it was that state of excruciatus I found myself the other morning, wandering into the kitchen to find breakfast and caffeine, and clutching my braless, hurting boobs. My roommates were there and, because it was an unusually warm morning and their breakfast was smoking, they had the sliding glass door open.

Male roomie sees me clutching my chest, looks at the open door, and tells me I can close it if I'm cold. I look down, look back at him, and say, "I'm fine. It's not cold." He looks at me like I'm on the best crack ever and replies, "Well you looked cold so."

I just couldn't explain the real reason I was holding my boobs.

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm excited to announce that I'm launching a new blog button/badge! It was time. I thought, new year, new badge. I'm so excited about it too.


Yes, it matches February's masthead. How very astute of you! I even ordered business cards with this image. I'm such a big kid now!

If you want to put it on your website, you can grab the code for the badge in the right sidebar.

Don't die of impressed. I know it will be hard, but do your best.

I also added a Stumble button at the top of the page. If you really like a post, do me a solid and submit it to Stumble. I'll get more traffic and me love you long time.

Also also, I added an advertising page to the blog because I really want to start generating some consistent ad dollars from this blog. I'm sure I'm doing this all wrong, but hell's bells, maybe somebody will want me.

I'm like the girl in a purple dress at the cotillion. But maybe there's an advertiser who's looking for a girl in a purple dress.

Yeah that simile sucked. Sorry about that.

~~~~~~~~~~

Also, now is the time for you to visit my Etsy shop again! I'm still $1400 in debt from Jeté's cancer care. But this is perfect. I get to make cute stuff. You get to wear cute stuff. And Jeté's bills get paid. It's brilliant.

AND I made the first of a new line: embellished hats! If this one sells, I'll make more. Or ask me and I'll make one to your specifications.


Don't forget I can do all sorts of custom orders at no extra charge. If you purchase from my shop, the second item ships free! I've got rings, pendants, earrings, hair pins, cuff links, and hats! All sorts of goodies.

~~~~~~~~~~

This is my new internet obsession:

I made this pretty pretty picture and about 5,000 others at weavesilk.com. It's incredibly easy, fun, and addictive. And PRETTY! Go have fun. But beware: it's hard to stop.

~~~~~~~~~~

Watch this and try not to AW:

Crater Face from Skyler Page on Vimeo.

15 comments mean you love me:

Oilfield Trash said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

That would be a scary way to wake up. That movie creeped me out as a kid when I saw it.

Bird Shit and Baby Caca said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Love the new badge!
I would have killed my friend if they woke me up like that...literally killed them! LOL

Simon said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Loving the New masthead and badge, by far the best one out, in my opinion.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

OT- me too! it scares me now.

Bird- thanks! and right? I should have.

Simon- thanks so much!

meleah rebeccah said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I would be HORRIFIED if I woke up to see that too! YIKES.

The new header on the blog is absolutely fantastic!



And, um... I really hate to say this, but the only time my breasts were that tender was when I was pregnant.

Alliegresham said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I can't help it. I lauged. Sorry!!! Hahahaha. Sorry your boobies hurt. Feel better. LOVE THE HAT!!! I would have bought TONS of them when I was bald. Now my hair is insane and I would look horrible in it! Smooches! When I get a job I am so having you design me a ring.

Poppy said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'd be the idiot that gets axed in the 1st scene of the horror flick (not just becuase I'm the slut who's always having sex)because I'm more of a "flight" than a "fight" when something scares the shit out of me. No witty one liners from me when I'm freaked out.

Love the new header and snagging the button. I love the hat too, so cute.

Shnerfle said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

That video was too cute! Where do you FIND this stuff? And also? The boobies thing? There's no WAY you could be preggers, right? RIGHT? Oh, good. *phew*

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

meleah- don't say that! ugg.

Allie- it's okay. giggle away.

Poppy- I'd die too. simply because I'd freeze and have no clue what to do. thanks, hon!

Lori- stumble, my dear, stumble. and don't say that! now two of you have curse me.

Laura said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I love your masthead and your button!!!

Nush said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

New header looks fab! So does the hat. :)

Oh know all about very painful boobs. I get every fecking month! I call it my Bridget Bardot phase... I feel inflated and if anyone touches them I am not responsible for my actions...

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am strongly considering buying that hat as a birthday present for my friend. She looks so cute in hats. The only thing that looks good on my head is a cat.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Laura- thanks, darlin!

Nush- thanks! and thanks for not making me think I'm pregnant. :)

Jess- you so should! I like hats. and cats. but not hats on cats. they hate that.

Simone Says... said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

new masthead is gorgeous. sorry about your tits. sometimes i wish i had a tall wheel barrel to lug them around in... or a cart with wheels.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks, love! and lucky for me, my boobs are so small, I'll never need something to lug them around in. they still hurt though.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...