Sexy Saturdays: Fourteen Long Dry Months

I feel triumphant today, kiddos, because one of my fave people on the planet and blog heroes is posting. Here! On my little blog!

Pretty sure I met Alex from Late Enough over at Studio 30+ and I was instantly hooked on her blog. I had only read maybe 3 or 4 posts of hers before I nabbed her to interview for Questions for a Blogger. She writes about parenting and politics and religion and her life in a very relaxed, candid way with a rapier wit with a side of goofball. In other words? She rocks lobster.

She's also one of the warmest, most supportive women you'll meet. She's supported my Etsy site with a giveaway on her new baby This Blogger Makes Fun of Stuff (which you should totes check out) and I've truly, truly enjoyed becoming her friend. Plus? You guys, she's like super freaking smart. And her kids are entirely too cute, like it shouldn't be legal how cute. For serious. Oh and? She's like a total cat lady too. Even though she has a husband and kiddos. Because she had cats first. And cats are forever. Or something.

Anyway, before you fall in love with Alex like I did, go find her on the Twitter, Facebook, and, bien sur, subscribe to her blog. Enjoy!

My husband and I didn’t have sex until we were married. 

Holy crap was I ready.

Because it wasn’t that we were both virgins.  We just wanted to do something different for our relationship.  And, um, that was DIFFERENT.

We didn’t even kiss in our first two weeks of dating.  Scott said to me: My friend told me that sometimes girls can feel weird about not kissing so I wanted you to know that I’m doing it so we can get to know each other and talk instead of just making out.

To which I responded: It’s okay. I had a dream about where we would first kiss and it’s not here.

However, I did NOT have a dream that we wouldn’t have sex for fourteen months.

At my bachelorette party, we played a game where my friends sent Scott questions and I had to guess his answers.

Question 5: What’s position does Alex prefer when you sleep together?
Scott: Um, her stomach?
Me: Oh, we haven’t had sex.

I’m pretty sure three people fell out of their chairs.

It’s not that we are hyper-religious.  I don’t really think God cares about premarital sex. 

I just had always slept with the people I dated.  Usually sooner rather than later.  I think it was a combination of every other movie where the couple sleeps together immediately because they are THAT MUCH IN LOVE and the idea that if a guy wanted to date me to get in my pants, I’d rather find out now than in three months.

I was so tired of relationships where we were MADLY IN LOVE then FOUGHT then MADLY IN LOVE then FOUGHT then FOUGHT then BROKE UP then GOT BACK TOGETHER then BROKE UP then I found a new guy to fall MADLY IN LOVE.

I wanted a normal LIKE to LOVE to REALLY IN LOVE with minimal fighting.  And being the least normal person I know, I had to do things very different to get there.

Scott and I took “breaking up” off the table.  It just wasn’t a fair fighting tactic.  Did it mean we could never break up? No.  It meant we couldn’t use it to up the drama.

Scott and I took sex off the table.  It just made things more complicated.  And we were already complicated people trying to be in a relationship TOGETHER.  We didn’t need help.

We took spending every second together off the the table.  It just made us boring.  And I liked having friends.  So did Scott.

Seven months later we got engaged and seven months after that we got married. 

And that was over seven years ago.

Of course, the pressure on our wedding night was extraordinary.  We even discussed NOT having sex so we didn’t set up a failure.

But COME ON.  Fourteen months was long enough.  And now, when we pass the hotel, we point and giggle like teenagers.

Hands down, I have never had better sex than I do right now with my husband.

Do I think that our sex life is awesome because we waited until marriage?  No. 

But maybe because we took the time to explore our bodies, minds and hearts without sex, we were able to use sex to make our relationship better instead of more complicated?

Or I’m still making up for those fourteen long dry months.