Monday, February 14, 2011

vanity and thick skin

So I've often mentioned how much I love you, kiddos, my readers. I'm constantly reassuring guest posters who are nervous about what people will think about what they write. "My readers are lovely," I say. And I mean it. For most of the year and a half that I've been blogging, I've received nothing but sweetness and butterfly kisses and rainbow unicorn butts. It's lovely.

So imagine my surprise when in the last month or so I've begun to get some critical comments. At first? My feelings were a little sore. But you know what? People are allowed to be critical of me. I put my words and my beliefs and my art up to be filleted by you and if you want to burn them a little, you have that right.

So no biggie. Criticize me. I do have feelings, but, you know, do your worst if you must. I'll work on growing a thicker skin.

la la la la la la la
You may have noticed that below every post, I have check boxes. It's an easy way for people to give feedback with you actually having to leave a comment. I figure that's why they're there anyway. The otehr day, one of you took the time to mark the "meh" box on almost every single one of my posts from the last month or so. (You're looking for that box now, I know. But don't. I'll explain why in a bit.)

That seriously happened.

And I'm vain enough to be perturbed by it. Vain enough to really question that. 

My first thought is: why? Why would you do that? You do not have to like what I write or like my photos, etc. You don't. I'm okay with that. I live in a subjective field and I am well aware that I will not please everyone.

In fact, I like that. I know I say controversial things. I like that I stir the pot a bit. And if I were getting comments that did the same, that would be something to be proud of. If you took a stance other than mine and engaged me and my readers in a debate, well done you! I'd love it if you did that.


Yet that's not what this is.

I'm also not so vain as to stomp my feet (though I wanted to) and pout and shout to the universe, "WELL IT'S MY BLOG AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN JUST LEAVE!" I won't say that. That's something political radicals say. Right.


I should mention that I put the "meh" box there for several reasons. One, it gives a balance. When I started blogging, I couldn't bring myself to just assume the whole world would love it. Plus there's the Taoist in me that declares balance in all things. If you can check "love it," you should be able to check "meh."

Also, while I really hope not every single one of my posts suck (and I'm vain enough to think they don't), I though that it would help me as a writer to know if a post here and there doesn't go over well. Feedback is good. But if all that feedback is bad, I have to wonder what I'm even doing? Not that I would quit over one person hating my blog. I just anticipated a few bad reviews here and there, not an onslaught of detestation.

Plus? The word "meh" kind of makes me laugh.

Still, I have to wonder why, if you really didn't like the first 6 or 7 posts, why'd you keep going? Did you think it would grow on you? That it would change the further back you'd read? It's all me. Always has been. And you clearly don't like it, so just give up already.

And if that's not what happened, then you were just being a dickwad. I don't like dickwads. They're not welcome here.
I googled "thick skin" and found this. um, hold me?
Anyway, I thought about all that. I tweeted about it. I pouted.

Then I decided to grow a pair. It is my damn blog after all and I don't have to provide a "meh" box. If you really hate each post, you can grow a pair and leave a trolly comment. Instead, I have replaced the "meh" box to say "marry me." A much better alternative AND it makes me laugh.

After all, I'm adorable. You people love me. Why wouldn't you read a post and immediately want to marry me? I predict a deluge of marriage proposals any day now.

23 comments mean you love me:

The Savage said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'll drink to that...

The Barreness said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I used to have a "marry me" box, but it was ticked a little too often for my liking, so I removed it... ;-)

Never mind.

I'm sure you'll get a thousand "f*ck 'em" messages, so I'll not start the trend (though you may go ahead consider it preemptively seconded).

I guess, instead I will just point out that, well, I follow (and love) you, and my taste is excellent.

Also?

My ass makes men cry with the anguish and desperation.

That wasn't really necessary I realise - I was just trying to highlight my awesomeness and the reasons why you should take comfort in my commenting.

I'll go now.

- B x

Ella said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Good for you!

I think the assholes out there really are just jealous and that's why they checked the "meh" box or wrote you blah things.

I personally really enjoy reading your words. I wouldn't be here still if I didn't.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Savage- cheers!

B- I love you and your blog and I am so glad you keep reading. also? it might've been me checking that "marry me" box on your blog. hee!

Ella- I think you're right. people just have to be dicks. thanks so much for being you and reading!

Liz said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

dude, a person has to have SERIOUS problems to do that.

Some people are so insane!

Rooster said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I thought "meh" meant so/so. Neither here, nor there.

Alex@LateEnough said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

1. you have marriage on the mind my friend... hmmm...

2. i'm dying to know if the person "meh"-ed my guest post. because it's all about me right? right!

ps. i need a thicker skin. is that lizard suit available in a small?

lex [lexinthecity] said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oooh passive aggressive trollers. Someone just trying to get under your skin and test your awesomeness.
I don't see the point of trollers. I received death threats once, that was fun. At first I was upset and slightly scared, but after some therapy and booze I got over it.
Ignore the passive aggressive haters. (I always like to believe they live in their moms' basements.)

Spencer said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

While I have to agree that if they weren't enjoying some of the posts they should have just stopped reading, I have to say I don't think "meh" is really that negative. I see it more of "interesting but not really applicable to my life" because guess what everyone thinks everything is all about them. I don't think you should worry about it too much there are probably a lot of people that can't relate, most of them probably just stop reading.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Liz- right? or no life.

Rooster- you may be right. subjective word, that is. I still don't want ALL of my posts to be so-so though.

Alex- 1. it might be the celibacy talking. 2. I don't think said person did. I think it was just *my* posts. 3. I hope so. because her ass is quite bedonk. that's gotta be at least a medium.

lex- someone sent you a death threat? now I had a stalker, but nothing that bad. you poor thing!

Spencer- meh might not be that negative to some. still, if every one of my posts doesn't appeal? I don't get why read. odd.

Nush said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Nice one! Love the fact that you put "Marry me" instead of "Meh" ..... take that sucker! :D

Simone Says... said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

what does "meh" mean? seriously, is that the sound when someone makes a fake kiss, or is it an acronym for "my elbows hurt"?

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Nush- and that's exactly what I said too!

Simone- the latter, obv. I mean that's the only logical meaning.

Michele said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I've completely forgotten the point of your post because I can't get the snakeskin butt out of my head. I know I should say "meh" and going on with my life, but the image is stuck there.

Someone obviously had way too much time on their hands. Or, they were that bored that they thought checking the meh boxes would liven up their life a bit. Either way, he or she is an asshole. You, are not an asshole. Remember that :)

Lizzy said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I find the fact that someone took the time to 'meh' several of your posts immature. Meh a couple (if you must) and if they're still 'meh' get the eff outta there.
That being said. I would never 'meh' you. In my eyes, you are not 'meh' worthy. Marry me is a totally different story. I would say yes to that shit a billion friggin times.

If, while growing thick skin, you start looking like either of those girls, stop. You are gorgeous the way you are.
xo woman, xo.

Ley said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You know what?

I love you.

I love that you say what you mean and mean what you say--yes I *did* just quote Horton Hears a Who!

I'm notoriously bad for commenting, but I've never missed a post because you are just that awesome. So just keep on keeping on, and the people that love you will stick around and support you, and if we have to we'll form a vigilante posse and chase away the haters with pitchforks and torches.

*hug*

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Michele- yeah sorry about lizard lady. that's just wrong. thanks, hon!

Lizzy- aw you! <3 and thank you. I do not want to look like either of the lizard ladies. frightening.

Ley- awww! and I love you AND Horton Hears a Who too! thanks for the solidarity. let you know if you need to get the pitchforks out. <3

Satan said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

andygirl, i love you with all my heart (and twitter account),
please oh please will you be my lawfully wedded wife (in Massachusetts??)

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

oh love you!

Yuliya said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

for the record I too love the word "meh" and here's your dickwad comment of the day, since everyone needs at least one..
PSA:REMOVE WORD VERIFICATION!

you're welcome :)

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

love ya! sorry, I get lots of spammy comments without the word verification. at least I don't moderate comments anymore.

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I hate people. But I would totally marry you and your cats. It'd be like the Brady Bunch. Sort of.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

like the cat brady bunch! yes! I'm in.

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