vanity and thick skin

So I've often mentioned how much I love you, kiddos, my readers. I'm constantly reassuring guest posters who are nervous about what people will think about what they write. "My readers are lovely," I say. And I mean it. For most of the year and a half that I've been blogging, I've received nothing but sweetness and butterfly kisses and rainbow unicorn butts. It's lovely.

So imagine my surprise when in the last month or so I've begun to get some critical comments. At first? My feelings were a little sore. But you know what? People are allowed to be critical of me. I put my words and my beliefs and my art up to be filleted by you and if you want to burn them a little, you have that right.

So no biggie. Criticize me. I do have feelings, but, you know, do your worst if you must. I'll work on growing a thicker skin.

la la la la la la la

You may have noticed that below every post, I have check boxes. It's an easy way for people to give feedback with you actually having to leave a comment. I figure that's why they're there anyway. The otehr day, one of you took the time to mark the "meh" box on almost every single one of my posts from the last month or so. (You're looking for that box now, I know. But don't. I'll explain why in a bit.)

That seriously happened.

And I'm vain enough to be perturbed by it. Vain enough to really question that. 

My first thought is: why? Why would you do that? You do not have to like what I write or like my photos, etc. You don't. I'm okay with that. I live in a subjective field and I am well aware that I will not please everyone.

In fact, I like that. I know I say controversial things. I like that I stir the pot a bit. And if I were getting comments that did the same, that would be something to be proud of. If you took a stance other than mine and engaged me and my readers in a debate, well done you! I'd love it if you did that.

Yet that's not what this is.

I'm also not so vain as to stomp my feet (though I wanted to) and pout and shout to the universe, "WELL IT'S MY BLOG AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, YOU CAN JUST LEAVE!" I won't say that. That's something political radicals say. Right.


I should mention that I put the "meh" box there for several reasons. One, it gives a balance. When I started blogging, I couldn't bring myself to just assume the whole world would love it. Plus there's the Taoist in me that declares balance in all things. If you can check "love it," you should be able to check "meh."

Also, while I really hope not every single one of my posts suck (and I'm vain enough to think they don't), I though that it would help me as a writer to know if a post here and there doesn't go over well. Feedback is good. But if all that feedback is bad, I have to wonder what I'm even doing? Not that I would quit over one person hating my blog. I just anticipated a few bad reviews here and there, not an onslaught of detestation.

Plus? The word "meh" kind of makes me laugh.

Still, I have to wonder why, if you really didn't like the first 6 or 7 posts, why'd you keep going? Did you think it would grow on you? That it would change the further back you'd read? It's all me. Always has been. And you clearly don't like it, so just give up already.

And if that's not what happened, then you were just being a dickwad. I don't like dickwads. They're not welcome here.

I googled "thick skin" and found this. um, hold me?

Anyway, I thought about all that. I tweeted about it. I pouted.

Then I decided to grow a pair. It is my damn blog after all and I don't have to provide a "meh" box. If you really hate each post, you can grow a pair and leave a trolly comment. Instead, I have replaced the "meh" box to say "marry me." A much better alternative AND it makes me laugh.

After all, I'm adorable. You people love me. Why wouldn't you read a post and immediately want to marry me? I predict a deluge of marriage proposals any day now.