This post isn't exactly timely, but it's something I meant to talk about for some time. And well, no time like the present right?
I've always had a knack of attracting unavailable men. I don't like it this way. Don't scoff. I don't. I prefer to date men who are very much available, but these are not the men who find me. Something about my pheromones must call to men who are absolutely and completely unavailable.
But don't worry, ladies, I wouldn't lock up your men just yet. I don't go there. Celibacy stint aside, this is an ongoing problem for me. I'd like it to go away. Maybe I need antibiotics or something.
I don't know what it is, but I must emit something that makes taken men think that I'd be okay with a little side action. That I'd be okay with being "that girl." Well I'm not. I don't mean guys who are dating other women casually. I mean men who are clearly tied down. They find me. I don't know how they do it, but they do.
And it's not like they give me a chance to be disgusted. It's not like these guys are ever about full disclosure. They don't mention their girlfriends or fiancées or wives. No they do not. They flirt. They get cozy. They act like it's perfectly okay for them to behave as if they're completely unattached single gents. So what's a girl to think?
It never comes out until later (But don't worry. I've never actually kissed or slept with these roving men. I wouldn't do that.) that they're in committed relationships. And it ALWAYS takes me by surprise. It shouldn't. It really shouldn't. With my track record, I should just ask every penis I meet if he's single at the outset, though I really don't want to do that because I don't know that I even like a guy at the outset and I wouldn't want them to think I'm interested if I'm not. Does that make sense?
But I ask you: what would you think? I think these guys have no business flirting. I think I wish I had all their gals' phone numbers so I could make courtesy calls letting them know how flirty their men are.
I don't think it's right. I don't. And I'm not naive or dense. I do know the difference between flirting and being friendly. I do. I have plenty of great guy friends who don't flirt with me. I know it's possible for these guys to dial it back.
Maybe these dudes think it's harmless. Maybe they know the flirting will never go anywhere (I hope) so it's a free pass to have a little fun.
But what about me? My feelings? Do they think I like feeling a little led on? That I like meeting a nice, interesting guy who acts really into me only to find out they're taken and have been behaving like a douchecanoe? That's not fun. It's exhausting. And I'm never, ever interested in being "that girl." Nope. Not ever gonna happen. Noppetty nope.
Or what about their ladies? Do they even think about how it will make them feel to know their partners are flirting it up?
What about me makes these guys think I think that's okay? That I'm game for that?
Dial it back, guys. Dial it back.
And don't even get me started on the emotionally unavailable men. The commitmentphobes. THAT'S a blog post for another day.
2 years ago