I mean, I'm not that bummed about failing.
Which is odd since I'm such a winner.
I am. I win at everything.
Don't you wish you could be me?
Ahem.
Anyway, for those of you who are new, I've been doing a celibacy thing. It began at the beginning of January. I don't have the energy to explain it to you, so you can read about it here and here.
I fail because I'm dating someone. I cheated. I cheated on my celibacy. I'm such a cheating cheater and I don't regret it at all. I feel like Richard Chamberlain in the Thorn Birds
. Just kidding. I don't feel like that. |
| it doesn't feel like this either, but she sure looks like she's having a good time |
So I'm going with it. Will see what happens. Go with the proverbial flow, as it were.
Incidentally, I kind of hate the word flow. Flow. Flooooooow.
Ahem.
I clearly wasn't looking for it. Not the flow, the guy or whatever.
Which I guess was the point of the celibacy thing, to stop looking and reset my radar. It just happened a hellofa lot sooner than I could have even anticipated.
It's so incredibly new that I hesitate to share any more details. All you need to know is he's cute and makes me laugh and seems to be really into me, which, you know, is a quality I highly encourage in those I date. He's been very kind and respectful, which, after the parade of douches in my life, is very nice.
Suffice to say, we're taking it slow and waiting on The Sex, which will also be a learning experience for me. If you've been reading for any time at all, you know the Crazy Lady likes The Sex. Trust. I does. Mama likes it.
But I'm still determined to learn what I set out to learn. I don't have a time frame in mind. Just that I want to wait and see and trust my gut.
So we'll see and I'll keep y'all in the loop.
Don't you hate it when I write short posts? Sorry. I need more angst to write long posts. For your sake, you should hope this doesn't work out for me. Then I'll have lots of angsty things to write about. Just kidding. Don't hope that. That would make me sad. And kind of hate you people. And you want me to love you, I know you do.
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30 comments mean you love me:
I'm breaking my involuntary vow of celibacy this weekend...
A celebration (for breaking your celibacy vow, oops) is in order. Good for you. (:
apparently my wife read your blog...she broke her three day vow of celibacy late last night...so...thanks...we had a blast
It always always happens that when you stop looking for love you end up meeting someone. Like you said, you had some time to reset your radar per se, and it sounds like it worked--yay!
the most important thing is that you met someone worthy of....YOU!!!!!!
If he's worthy of you then he is "breaking celibacy worthy!!"
Savage- have fun!
Jessica- cheers! :)
Lance- you're so welcome! anything I can do to help.
Lena- that's what I thought too! hee!
Caren- that's what I think. let's hope!
celibacy is over-rated. much like NOT letting me rim you.
Fingers crossed that he is all that and some! Sounds good anyway. Happy short posts are just as good. :)
It's the JOURNEY not the Destination! Take that Bull by the horns and your let Cow udders have a blast!
You have to love the universe's sick sense of humor. You try to cockblock yourself (sorry it's one of my very favorite things to say) and the universe throws you a charming winner??? Jokes on you universe! Have fun with it and best of luck!
Reality check, they all seem nice until they seem douchey. Maybe the reason you seem to meet douchey guys is because you feel they are worth breaking a commitment to yourself, if he really is a great guy not only will he honor your commitment to yourself but he will be supportive and encouraging of said commitment.
Celibacy leaves a lot to be desired.
Ken- as usual, I can count on your for an inappropriate comment.
nush- thanks, darlin!
Z- you are so right of course :)
Random- I like that. cockblock myself. nice!
Anonymous- I wonder why you left your comment anonymously? you may very well be right, but the fact remains that you're not in my shoes. he is very respectful of my commitments and I've made my choices sans any cajoling. I don't like the term reality check. it implies I'm living in a fantasy, which I very much am not.
Erin- how did I miss your comment? it's actually been awesome. and I never would have broken it (though I've yet to have sex) if I hadn't felt it was worth it. but I was enjoying it. I truly was.
I left my comment anonymously because I didn't feel like logging in, it was much easier to just click a button. I am sorry that the expression reality check bothers you so much. I was not using it to imply you were in a fantasy world but for you to ask yourself; when you met the past men you have dated "the parade of douches" did you think they seemed nice or did they seem douchey? When I made my comment I was under the assumption that your celibacy was about more than just an excuse for not having sex. Normally I don't comment and I did not mean to offend, just point out that you are worth more than a guy that seems nice, you are worthy of a guy who can prove he's nice. ~ Spencer
Spencer, so nice to see you! look, your comment was just a little presumptuous is all. I appreciate that you are concerned (yes? is that right?), but though I do put myself out there, I still maintain that I don't necessarily need any protection. I'm a smart, savvy, 30 year old woman and capable of determining the risk factors at play. this is not a decision I came to lightly. my celibacy was about being alone and figuring out what I want. I think I've done some of that. I've also decided to wait on sex (which I said) for JUST the reasons you mentioned. I do deserve a good guy and so far, he is. that's enough for me right now. so I appreciate your intentions, but it's not necessary. my heart is mine to risk and I'm okay with that. :)
Yay! He sounds awesome - go for it!
Megan- you're so sweet. I think I just might. :)
Aimee- I am sending you my gold vibrator STAT!
"The parade of douches" Amen! Also what I refer to as 98.9% of the single male population age 30+. Glad you found one of the 1.1% still out there!
Blogging when you aren't bitter is hard. Hard, I tell you. (That's what she said.) I estimate I've lost about 50 percent of my readers since I started having sex once a month with my long-distance girlfriend so really I still have a lot to be bitter about so ... anyway.
Yay, you! Do the cats like him? That's the ultimate test.
Hutch- dude. tell me about it! thanks!
Jess- the cats haven't met him yet. and Hobbes always takes years to meet anyone new. BUT, he has two cats. you heard me right. that has to be a good sign right?
I think that when you stop looking, really stop, then you find what you're looking for. yay!
Oh no. My hubs was nice. And we waited on The Sex.
Now, we're married with twins.
Just sayin'.
I tried celibacy. I lasted a year. It was the longest year of my life. I prefer my old ways/current ways.
I'm extremely excited to see this relationship unfold! I think it's romantic that you're holding off on the sex.
HE HAS CATS! Keeper.
Ok - you mentioned the Thorn Birds. Just when I thought I couldn't adore you any more...oh father de bricassart
I gave you an award because I love this blog. =)
http://phantasosplayground.blogspot.com/
This post? I love it. Like seriously, I want to make out with it.
I knew about your celibacy thing and I somehow managed to get myself in the same situation. At this point, I'm not complaining. It's been good.
But GOOD FOR YOU! I'm so glad you found someone that is at least great to hang out with! And MAYBE things will keep going good and it will lead to the sex. ::ahem::
Seriously, so happy for you. Seriously.
yayyyaaaaaaaayyy!!
awesomeness all around.
i'd give you a hug were i there, but...
well, digital hug!!
Sun- I think you're right :)
Sarah P- eeek! let's not get ahead of ourselves here!
Alexandra- I don't know that I could do a year. that's loooooong. and I know right? cats!
B&V- dude. my mom LOVED The Thorn Birds. she had the whole box set.
christy- thank you
Jen- seriously thank you! <3 now let's make out. wait, what?
Satan- digital huuuuuuuugs!
Because of the new google privacy thing, I've been doing some random googling. This search was "awesomesauce with a side of fail."
You're #1 and there is something very special about that.
I'm glad I randomly ran into you!
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