Wednesday, October 13, 2010

First Kiss

My first kiss.

*sigh*

Wait. I have three "first kisses" actually. But the first one I don't count. Because it was more of a kiss rape. And the second? Well, he missed my mouth and frenched my cheek. So that doesn't count either.

Story of my first kiss rape:

When I was in the eighth grade, I was friends with this boy Kyle Driggers. He was in the seventh grade (Almost typed second. Boy would that have been a different story!). I did not like this boy beyond the smelly, snotty friend that he was. He was in no way cute. Plus he was younger. Like, duh.

So this one day after school, Kyle and I are hanging out on the picnic tables waiting for something or other. I remember it was a cold day and wishing I was not outside, sitting with Kyle. Without any forewarning or flirting of any kind, Kyle grabs my face with both hands and shoves his face into my face. It didn't feel like a kiss. It felt like I was being smothered by someone's face.

I guess he thought he'd bamboozle me into kissing him. Well, not even, Mr. Driggers. Not even.

So I shoved Kyle back, slapped his face (the first time in my life I'd ever slapped someone), said something mean, and ran to the girl's bathroom. I don't think we were friends after that. Poor Kyle.

Story of my real first kiss:

It was my sophomore year of high school. Late, je sais! But since my first two kisses didn't count, I wasn't that old. Plus I'd lied my little ass off and told everyone I'd had plenty of kisses before.

I had had a crush on John Britt for a while before he finally started holding my hand and then we were going out. A week or so later (I think), we were talking outside of the drama room about my upcoming birthday party when John leaned in close and kissed me. For real. A good, honest, magical first kiss.

And damn could that boy kiss! In fact, I pretty much measure all my kisses against his to this day. He was that good.

I was on cloud 9. I couldn't stop smiling. I floated to my first period German class and my friend Ragen looked at me like I was on crack. "That must have been some kiss," she said when I squeaked out my news.

Oh yes. Yes it was.

The rest of that whole day was a total blur. All I could think about was that kiss. And when I could do it again.

Then John and I made out every chance we got in every place we could for like 3 months.

We were constantly getting in trouble for making out at school. But, people? I could not resist his lips! Until I was a stupid girl and dumped him for absolutely no good reason whatsoever.

Then a week later this boy Paul asked me out. And I said yes. Making John think I dumped him for this other guy. And Paul was afraid to kiss. Seriously. It was months of not kissing my boyfriend. Months of regretting dumping John, even though this other boy was very nice.

It was like I'd tasted the most delicious chocolate for the first time and then wasn't allowed to eat it again for months. Only this chocolate was very talented with his tongue. And I had to see it every day between 2nd and 3rd periods. And we totally had the same friends. Torture.

Like I said, John could kiss. Damn could he kiss. Yowza.

I think he's married now.

She is a lucky lady. A lucky, lucky lady indeed.


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25 comments mean you love me:

Cecelia Winesap said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh man, I haven't thought about my first kiss in a long time! The "first" first kisses always seem to be horrible though, don't they?

Just Plain Tired said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm either getting old, which of course I am, or my first kiss wasn't that great. I have no clue when it happened.

Juicy724 said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

haha great story girl! A good kisser should always be a keeper! Do a google search for him and maybe he isn't married! Cute blog! :)

http://juicylifegirl.blogspot.com/

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

thanks for your comments, guys!

all I can say is: 1) I know he's married, 2) my first kisses did suck, but that one made up for it. :)

Portland Dad said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

My first kiss was a birthday present at my 12th birthday on the driving range next to my house. I had no idea what was happening until she kissed me. I was a super shy kid and she thought it would be funny.

Jennifer said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Awww.... that is so sweet! I remember my first kiss, it felt magical but when I look back - I could not have picked a bigger loser! LOL.... I loved reading this story - very cute!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

PDXDad- she thought it'd be funny? that makes me sad. was it at least a good kiss?

Jennifer- well, as long as it's a good memory, I guess it doesn't matter if he was a loser. :)

Liz said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

All boys need a good slap across the face once in a while. Good for you!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

hee. at least I knew when it was appropriate to slap a guy.

Suniverse said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I can't remember my first kiss. Evidently it was so spectacular it erased itself from my mind.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

at least it wasn't so bad its memory haunts you forever. :)

Michele said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Ah...Mike Lauer. We were in seventh grade at a party and every watched us from the other side of the fence. It was very wet and slobbery. We broke up that year, and then went out again in 8th grade, and broke up again. And then he moved to Hawaii sophomore year (I was still pining over him) and knocked up his girlfriend. Ah...Mike Lauer...

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Mike Lauer sounds infamous!

we hate you. love, us said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh how I love stories of first kisses. Mine was in 4th grade (ridiculously early) with this guy I had a massive crush on, partly because he was a year older than me which I guess made him so much cooler. It was horribly awkward and then he asked for my necklace so he could remember me. So, so weird.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

look at you going after the older mens. it's super weird he took your necklace.

Lizzy said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

2 in 1?! you are a multitasker indeed!!

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

hachacha!

Peter said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

My first kiss was lame, but my first european suckface was with Jessica, and she had fucking crazy braces, and it was... memorable. like making out with a lawnmower.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Bahah! a lawnmower? I had braces and many boys told me I was an excellent kisser. so there.

Portland Dad said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Andygirl - For me it was great, i didn't care why she was kissing me I just liked that it was happening. She was the girl that was way super developed at a young age so everyone thought she was the hottest girl. She said she was my girlfriend but then broke up with me the next day in the middle of my baseball game. She had another girl tell me when I came in from the field and I was so sad I struck out without even trying. It was all so symbolic

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

kids are so dramatic!

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I want to hear about your first lady kiss, please and thank you.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

alas, my first lady kiss is a blur. because I was so not out yet and I used the cover of that douchey girl in a bar who gets drunk and kisses other girls as an excuse to kiss girls. so picture that. douchey drunk girl.

more interesting is the first lady kiss I cared about. in that case, it was my birthday and I had a crush on her and she kissed me good as sort of a birthday present. good times.

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Best birthday present ever!

I've never kissed a random girl in a bar. (I don't get out much.)

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

right? it was a very good birthday!

yeah, I used to be quite the party girl. not anymore. I'm not even sure how to meet people now. romantically. urf.

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