Which is SO not me.
I mean, we all know how I lose my appetite when I'm suffering a little heartbreak. Oh do we know.
But this? This was not heartbreak. This was loss of appetite for some weird reason. And it wasn't consistent. I'd eat some great food one day and forget to eat the next.
How to the ever.
How to the ever lovin' ever.
I have my appetite back. It's been steadily building for a couple of weeks now. And it's back with a vengeance. Like it was pissed that I forgot about it. Packed it away with my sweaters and jewelry and forgot to unpack it after my move. And it's making up for lost time.
Oh boy is it.
I am shoving so much food down my gullet, I resemble a snake eating a baby. I wouldn't recommend anyone getting their hands too close to my mouth; they may lose a finger.
Bee tee double you, did you know that Kettle Chips makes a Fully Loaded Bakes Potato flavor? Jeez to the creez it's ridiculous. No food that amazing should exist. It's like mocking nature. That's some unnaturally brilliant food conjuring right there. Kettle Chips must be a witch. Somebody burn it at the stake. Or throw it in a river and see if it floats. And if it does, burn it at the stake.
Burning at the stake is always the answer.
Even on a math test.
Trust me on that one.
Where was I? Oh yeah. The food. As proof of my incessant noshing, an extemely unattractive photo of me eating a Voodoo Doughnut*:
Please pay no attention to my chins.
My throat looks like that because it is expanding to make room for the large quantity of food about to be ingested. Just like a snake. Duh.
I thought we covered this.
*Why the hell am I sharing this extremely unattractive photo? Someone slap some sense into me please, because I seem to be under the impression that the purpose of the Internet is to make myself appear as unattractive as possible.