Saturday, March 13, 2010

I don't want to talk

Oh, Internet. I know I've been MIA. But there is just so much I don't want to say. So much I just don't want to talk about.

I don't want to talk about how stressful and hectic my week was. How I just pretty much decided by Thursday evening that everyone in my life wanted to make my life utter hell. Until, that is, an outpouring of Facebook love reminded me that there are plenty of people in my life who want good things for me. I was just so overwhelmed with the immediate stress that  forgot that.

I don't want to talk about how I pretty much didn't sleep all week. How, no matter how exhausted I was and how heavy my eyelids, once I close them, saboteur thoughts snuck in inexplicably and threatened to ruin anything good I had been holding onto. Thoughts with no basis or rationale whatsoever, but that doesn't matter in the wee hours of the morning when all you want is sleep, but negativity is just too damn tempting to indulge. And which made my week harder to process and handle. Yet, last night, I took 2 Tylenol PM and a melatonin and had the best night of sleep in a hell of a long time.

I don't want to talk about a misunderstanding with an old friend, which, in my mind, had been festering for a while. But for her was new and raw. And I don't want to lose this friend and this pain of that thought has stung for a while. So I'm trying to take some time and think things through and handle it well.

I do want to talk about Jeopardy. How I got two half questions (don't ask. half questions count when you play at home, over the phone with your dad) about sports correct last night and if you add that up, I got one sports question. Hells yeah! I never get those. Suck on that!

I do want to talk about how I ordered some large prints of my own photos and they turned out kickass and I'm going to buy frames for them today. They will make my space so much happier.

I do want to talk about Aaron (aka Love Interest), who called me yesterday and made me laugh for this first time in a week. And that meant the world to me. It may seem small. But it's true nonetheless. And important. And valuable.

I do want to talk about what a gloriously gorgeous day it is today and how I'm excited to have tea and commiseration with Morgan and maybe hike tomorrow. Hello, weekend!

I do want to talk about how next weekend is my nephew (the son of one of my two besties) Ethan's 2nd birthday next week. 2ND! Ohemgee how did that happen? Just a minute ago, I was holding him in the hospital, newborn, and wrapped up like a little elf. And now he's 2? What the? I'm excited to see the kid next weekend at his party. And I'm the book lady, so of course I have new books for him to devour. Which makes me so proud!

I do want to talk about how I leave for New Orleans in 2 weeks. I am so fucking excited for this trip! Which reminds me that I need to buy some supplies. Better get on that.

And just to give you a taste of the first good mood I've had since last week, here's a song that makes me giggle:

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