I wasn't going to seriously blog about this. I was going to write some snarky ass posts, laugh at myself, feel better, and be done with it. But my one mistake was underestimating the concern and sympathy of you, Internet. Who knew you were all hugs and rainbows? Who knew? You guys have been so overwhelmingly sweet. Lard love ya.
So yeah, I had a little heartbreak. I did. This past weekend. And I'm licking my wounds. It's all over with Love Interest. Which is unbelievably sad for me. So sad pour moi.
But I feel the need to come to the defense of Love Interest (though I guess I have to think of a new moniker for him now. maybe past Love Interest #547. heh.). But I want to state for the record that he doesn't deserve any scorn (and I know you all mean well and you're just being nice to me).
He was just that, my love interest. We weren't a couple yet, though I'd certainly hoped we would be at some point, but that's not how it worked out. And I'm sure he has his reasons. If I had my way, only my reasons would exist and all would be right in my little world. But I can't dwell on that, because ultimately I was just being my authentic self and I can't control anything beyond that.
But, you guys, he is a good guy. Possibly the nicest guy I've ever dated. And I really liked him a lot. So of course it hurts to see him go, but he was perfectly kind to me and sweet and I appreciate the way he ended things. Which, in a way, makes it even harder because I don't have any anger to fall back on. It's easy (though painful) when a guy is a douche, because then you can just let your anger at him help you move on. So moving on will be a little more challenging than I've experienced in the past.
But the pain here is the situation, not the man. I need to make that absolutely clear. It sucks that something I was so hopeful for and excited about ended. It sucks. Sucks! And my faith in the possibility of love is shaken. The older I get and the more relationships I have, the less I think it exists. I'm wounded. And bruised. And bruises take a while to heal. So I'm just trying to be kind to myself and let this process run its course. But I know that I'll be fine eventually. I always am. I'm a tough girl.
But he is a good man. Someone I still care very much about and want to be happy. And if that happiness doesn't include me, as much as that hurts, so be it. Hopefully we really will remain friends, because as cliche as that sounds, I hate to lose someone I value simply because it didn't work out romantically.
That is all I wanted to say, I appreciate the support and the laughs and my growing readership more than you'll know. You guys are pure awesome sauce! I love your comments like moths love flames, which end up killing those moths. Which is a weird simile now that I think about it. I don't want to die. I just want to love you guys and your comments. And am I still talking? Someone shut me up already.
Long story short: Internet + Crazy Lady + your comments = Love
5 weeks ago