I am alive, Internet. Alive.
This is gonna be a short post as I'm still recovering and I'd love to joke about how sick I was, but I can't yet because it's still so fresh and horrible.
And now I've scared you. Hah! Well, I had a nasty ass case of food poisoning. Miserable, praying for death food poisoning. I never did go to the hospital but somewhere between midnight of Tuesday night and yesterday evening, I seriously considered it.
I was sick. Sick as a dog sick. And I am looking so effing skinny (it's not normal how skinny) because I literally lost all the water in my body. Ew.
I haven't been this sick since I got food poisoning in Marseiile in 2006, but then, through the magic of the French healthcare system, a doctor came to my hotel room, checked me out, and gave me magic pills that made me all better by morning. Oh, and he didn't charge me a thing. Go socialism!
Last night, a nice cold bath finally broke my fever and I was able to drink some gatorade this morning and I even ate some bread and rice today. Hooray for small victories!
So at this point I'm rocking the exhaustion and still taking it easy on my stomach. I'd really like to go back to work tomorrow, but I'll see if I have the energy in the morning.
- Chicks who do it for me
- Lose Weight Fast with the Heartbreak Diet!
- Margaritas, Weed, and Slut Signals
- epic existential post just in time for that arbitrary changing of the calendar which I so love
- Public Service Announcement
- Horrifying Shit on Pinterest: Slut Shaming E-Cards
- Animal Monster Bird Squawk Dinosaur Creature
- My Doctors Always Suck, otherwise entitled Why I Hate Kaiser
- Sexy Saturdays: Slutty Saturday
- fishcunts and cum dumpsters