The Dark Side

Did I ever tell you about the time I ate meat for the first time in 12 years? I haven't? Well, you're in for a treat. I truly apologize to friends who have heard me tell this story ad nauseum. I just really like to tell it. Plus, inspired by my friend's post to meet or not to meat, I felt compelled to tell my story once again.

I quit eating red meat when I was 14. It wasn't a moral thing or a political thing. I mean, I did care about animals, but mostly I just didn't like red meat. Because of my soy allergy, I never gave up meat completely. I wasn't stupid and knew I'd still need protein, and I quite liked fish anyway. So at that young age, I quit eating beef and pork cold turkey. And I never missed it. Not once. I didn't even miss bacon that much because I'd fooled myself into believing that turkey bacon tasted the same (it doesn't).

But like I said, it was a taste thing. And maybe even a health thing after a while. However, I'd always said that if I really craved meat, I would eat it. After 12 years, though, I never craved it so I assumed I never would.

Cut to me at 26, living in Paris. A couple things you should know about Parisians: they love ham and they love cheese. Now, the cheese I was behind full force. I love cheese. There is a reason I chose to live in a country with over 300 official government cheeses. Cheese. In markets in France, there is a whole wall of cheese. But ham I was not going to eat (Because I wasn't eating pork, remember? try to pay attention.). Out and about the city, there were really three types of sandwiches to buy: tuna, cheese, or ham. And a girl can only eat so much tuna and cheese.

Even so, after a couple of months, I was craving meat like crazy! Seriously craving it. I was walking everywhere and climbing L'Escalier du Mort (literally translated to: the death stairs) up to my little flat. It's no wonder I was craving meat. I really needed the protein, and iron too probably. Plus, this is Paris. The French aren't so much for the alternate proteins (not that I can eat so many alternate proteins).

In October of that year, my friend and I found ourselves in a train station in Italy, traveling from Rome to Florence. We were starving and the only food in the station was a Quickburger, a Belgian fast food chain. I was just gonna get fries and get something better once we got to Florence. But my friend dared me to get a cheeseburger. Now, I'm not one to take a dare, but it was too tempting to turn down (even though I was pretty nervous that after 12 years, a burger would make me sick).

This is a Quickburger 

and my cheeseburger did kind of look like that.

And oh my sweet lord, Internet, that cheeseburger was the best thing I'd tasted in my whole damn life! It was delicious! After I'd stuffed my face with the cheesy meaty goodness, my friend and I fell asleep on the train. At which point I had a dream about cheeseburgers. Seriously. I did. It woke me up and I begged my friend to let me get a cheeseburger at the next station. She laughed at me.

"Did you just have a dream about a burger?"

"Ohyeah. Yeah I did!"

I had crossed over to the dark side. And I never looked back.

Number one reason I'll never again be a vegetarian: BACON.

Shiny Happy People

Da dada DUM *drum roll* I have a day off tomorrow!!! A DAY OFF!! Like, it's  a Wednesday. And I don't have to work. And I can catch up on life. Do you understand how fantastic this is, Internet? Let's all take a moment and do the happy dance.


And here's some happy music to dance to:

*HAPPY DANCE*

Okay, do we all feel happy now? I certainly do. I am so excited for my day off. Considering that my last day off (Sunday) was spent recovering in bed with Hulu (I heart you, Hulu!) from my BIG EVENT, I am in great need for a real day off to get stuff done. I can finally take my poor car in for an estimate (yup, her bumper is still hanging on like a hangnail), do laundry and clean my house, write thank you notes, download my photos from last weekend, and maybe even catch up on some reading or even...*gasp*...wait for it...gardening! The options are endless and I am more stoked than a queen at Fashion Week.

And it gets better. I know you don't think it's possible, but you'd be wrong, Internet. It does. On Thursday I finally get some girly time with Mo! It feels like weeks since I've seen her and I haven't even gotten to hear how her first half-marathon went and she hasn't heard about Hot Bartender. Well, I'm sure she's read about him here, but believe you me, I plan on telling her much better details than I would disclose with you, Internet. I mean, don't be offended, but you and I just don't know each other that well yet.  What do you expect? These kinds of relationships take time. Anyway,  back to Mo and myself, this is very unlike us, so needless to say, we are long overdue for some much needed gossip. I'm really not sure how we made it this long, actually. I need my gossip. It's like a fix. Wait, let me go amend my crack post and add gossip to my list of cracks.

And then...I get to see my very favorite aunt on Saturday!! She's just moved down here to the south of Caleefornia from San Francisco and I'm going to spend some quality time with her at her new house. I love this woman. Next to my other favorite aunt who passed away when I was much younger, this awesome lady is one of my very favorite people. She is fun and generous and a really great female role model, the kind I really didn't have growing up with my harpy, I mean my mom. This woman met my friends and I in Paris when I was living there and we tromped around the city of lights and drank wine and ate too much cheese. She and I went to Hawaii together last year and she got me drunk on mai tais. She took one of my other cousins to Italy this last year where I hear they ate gelato every single day (ALL-ways a good idea in my experience). On a scale from one to awesome, I'd say she's super awesome! And I am completely excited to stay with her this weekend.

All in all, I'd say things are looking up. Now if only I had Hot Bartender's phone number. Or even his real name, for that matter. That could be a teensy hitch.