Scene: my storage unit in Southern California. It's roughly 1,000 degrees centigrade and I have left my best friend and father to continue shoving my worldly belongings into the 10 x 10 space while I fetch electrolytes so we all don't die.
My father is packing a clear plastic tub in which three brightly wrapped condoms (which I've forgotten to remove) are clearly visible.
He mutters to himself: I hope she wasn't planning on using those after they've been in storage.
He turns around, notices my best friend behind him and says: Please don't tell her I said that.
So of course she did.
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- Margaritas, Weed, and Slut Signals
- epic existential post just in time for that arbitrary changing of the calendar which I so love
- Public Service Announcement
- Horrifying Shit on Pinterest: Slut Shaming E-Cards
- Animal Monster Bird Squawk Dinosaur Creature
- My Doctors Always Suck, otherwise entitled Why I Hate Kaiser
- Sexy Saturdays: Slutty Saturday
- fishcunts and cum dumpsters