because we live in the Matrix

In case you were worrying about me, Internet, here's a wee update: I am feeling a little better. With the gracious love of my dear, dear friend, I have taken one thing temporarily off of my plate. And you wouldn't believe how one tiny thing can much such a huge difference! I feel like a small breeze of relief is flowing in through one corner of my life. It's amazing.

Not a literal breeze though. God no. It's like 100 million fucking degrees here in Southern goddman California. Really, though, it's hot. And I hate it with the fire of my soul (get it? cause it's hot? heh.). Even though it's getting scary to make this move and all the details of it are killing me, I am so ready to leave this sweaty ass part of the world. So ready I am going out of my ever lovin' mind.

Anywaaaay.

This thing I set aside is still going to happen, I've just asked for a little postponement until I can work other details out and catch my breath.

But ask me again how I feel tonight. I may eat my words when I once again can't sleep and end up screaming in frustration at my brain that just won't effing turn off. But I plan on sedation, so here's hoping for a full night of sleepytime.

And in celebration of taking control of my life and looking forward to the first great day in a while, here's a little brilliance (thanks to Cocomo):

If you don't watch the highlarious video, you won't get the title of this post. 

See how manipulative I am? Don't you love it?

No? Well then bite me.

Shiny Happy People

Da dada DUM *drum roll* I have a day off tomorrow!!! A DAY OFF!! Like, it's  a Wednesday. And I don't have to work. And I can catch up on life. Do you understand how fantastic this is, Internet? Let's all take a moment and do the happy dance.


And here's some happy music to dance to:

*HAPPY DANCE*

Okay, do we all feel happy now? I certainly do. I am so excited for my day off. Considering that my last day off (Sunday) was spent recovering in bed with Hulu (I heart you, Hulu!) from my BIG EVENT, I am in great need for a real day off to get stuff done. I can finally take my poor car in for an estimate (yup, her bumper is still hanging on like a hangnail), do laundry and clean my house, write thank you notes, download my photos from last weekend, and maybe even catch up on some reading or even...*gasp*...wait for it...gardening! The options are endless and I am more stoked than a queen at Fashion Week.

And it gets better. I know you don't think it's possible, but you'd be wrong, Internet. It does. On Thursday I finally get some girly time with Mo! It feels like weeks since I've seen her and I haven't even gotten to hear how her first half-marathon went and she hasn't heard about Hot Bartender. Well, I'm sure she's read about him here, but believe you me, I plan on telling her much better details than I would disclose with you, Internet. I mean, don't be offended, but you and I just don't know each other that well yet.  What do you expect? These kinds of relationships take time. Anyway,  back to Mo and myself, this is very unlike us, so needless to say, we are long overdue for some much needed gossip. I'm really not sure how we made it this long, actually. I need my gossip. It's like a fix. Wait, let me go amend my crack post and add gossip to my list of cracks.

And then...I get to see my very favorite aunt on Saturday!! She's just moved down here to the south of Caleefornia from San Francisco and I'm going to spend some quality time with her at her new house. I love this woman. Next to my other favorite aunt who passed away when I was much younger, this awesome lady is one of my very favorite people. She is fun and generous and a really great female role model, the kind I really didn't have growing up with my harpy, I mean my mom. This woman met my friends and I in Paris when I was living there and we tromped around the city of lights and drank wine and ate too much cheese. She and I went to Hawaii together last year and she got me drunk on mai tais. She took one of my other cousins to Italy this last year where I hear they ate gelato every single day (ALL-ways a good idea in my experience). On a scale from one to awesome, I'd say she's super awesome! And I am completely excited to stay with her this weekend.

All in all, I'd say things are looking up. Now if only I had Hot Bartender's phone number. Or even his real name, for that matter. That could be a teensy hitch.

she works hard for the money

*WHEW* My BIG EVENT is oh vee ee are! (that spells over, in case you were having trouble deciphering) Yes, the weekend-long event is over and it went very well for the most part. Friday evening was my baby, a big chi chi event that we put on every year and I get to be in charge of it. Now, many people help with many details and I want to go on record saying that I couldn't do any of it without the help of so many people. A lot of these people go unrecognized, but I recognize them. They make my job possible.

And this evening? This is honestly my most stressful but absolutely favorite night of the year. And without giving away what it is because I'm still trepidatious to talk about my job in detail, I'll just say a few things. I love this because it makes people happy. We recognize 11 amazing people and I love putting together all of the crazy details, the seating chart, slideshows, decorations, catering, entertainment, logistics, presentations, etc, etc.

You know why? Because I am totally and completely selfish. When I see the these people and their families with those smiles, I know they feel appreciated and that makes it all worth it. They are a part of a much bigger entity than me, but I get to be the person who puts it all together, who gets to know them so personally as I make the preparations, and makes their evening special. It makes all the planning and details completely worth it. And that makes me feel great. And, if I may brag for a moment here, I've received nothing but compliments. And that of course also makes me feel great. But not just because it's good to hear something you've put together is "incandescent," (which someone actually said!), but also because I know that means they had a good time, enjoyed themselves and the environment, and that means my job is well done.

Oh, did I mention the hot bartender? Hot. Bartender. I definitely wedged some impromptu flirting into the evening where I could. And he kept me in supply of soda, one glass of wine, then water. Did I mention that he was hot? Hot. Really hot. I'm not gonna lie, after the last month, it made me feel like Giselle to be checked out by Hot Bartender. Oh baby.

Saturday was a blur of events and running around and HEAT (ohmigod, Southern California! What the hail is up with the heat? IT IS OCTOBER! Get colder already!Damn.) and people and talking and even laughter. There were only a few minor glitches, nothing I'd even call snafus even. It all went as smoothly as it could and as that's unusual for a big weekend like this, I'd say I'm very pleased. Saturday morning, though, I woke up at 5 am (I set my alarm for 6) because I couldn't breathe out of either nostril and head felt like it was going to implode. I guess that cold I had been fighting off decided to kick in right then. So I drug my sorry ass out of bed early, started an epsom salts bath (for my achy feet from wearing heels on Friday. See: chi chi event above) and inhaled the steam until I could breathe. So, I got a whole hour's less sleep than I wanted to start my big day, but I didn't really feel it until Saturday night.

Saturday night. What a night. We had a party planned. All the details set. Deejay, food, twinkle lights, banners, candles, bar, Hot Bartender (woot! more on this in a sec), and then nothing. A bunch of people had made reservations, but the crowd was meager. Meager. Who knows what happened, but it became SUCH a long night and I was SO tired. And there were a few fun moments. I got to see my friend Lena for a bit that I hadn't seen in a couple years. A friend's husband told a gaggle of young people that I was the hottest girl he'd ever seen (sorry, K! that was awkward for both of us!), and one lonely drunk bastard got plastered, danced alone like a male Elaine all night while people he didn't know videotaped him (poor bastard is probably ALL over YouTube right now), fell and ripped up his hand (which I patched up with my personal first aid kit. sometimes I hate that I'm a fireman's daughter). Poor guy. I felt bad for him. But, security made sure he wasn't driving and got him a cab to his hotel.

Oh, and Hot Bartender. THAT was a pleasant surprise. And I still flirted, but without my cute outfit (and I'm sure after working in the heat ALL day, I looked super attractive), I suddenly got shy and nervous. What was my deal? Who knows. But I totally wussed out and didn't make any kind of moves. He seemed interested though. The party was so slow, he stood with me and talked between making drinks. And did I mention that he's hot? Hot. And I know, bartender. Cliche. But he seemed nice. And we weren't at a seedy bar, he was with the catering company. Am I just hard up? Rebounding? I don't think so. I think I was attracted to Hot Bartender and I couldn't man up enough to make a move because it was scary.

Oh well. C'est la vie. What's a girl to do?

Anyway, I told myself that I wasn't going to do a damn thing today and so far I've been pretty damn successful. I've gotten out of bed for shower and food and I even made myself refrain from chores or cleaning of any kind (except cleaning myself). I just laid in bed all day watching Hulu and Netflix and generally being kind to myself. After this month and then this weekend, I needed to day to detox and do nada. And I haven't felt sick today, just exhausted, so that's a good sign. Back to work tomorrow so I'm glad I didn't make the most of today. Doing nothing is much more fun sometimes.