Horrifying Shit on Pinterest: Racist Halloween Costumes

Horrifying Pinterest shit is BACK! I had intended to link up a Halloween post before Halloween, you know, so people can learn something. But alas, my laziness and lack of time management skills won out and so you get this gem after Halloween. 

There were so many examples of racist costumes, mostly in the vein of "culture as a costume." If you don't know what I'm talking about, Google it. I'll wait. :) 

And, while the cultural appropriation costumes go back a long time (such a long tradition of racism to celebrate, evidently),  but there's an even more perverse issue when it becomes the Sexy Racist costume. At that point, we go beyond the problem of Sexy Halloween monopoly (meaning a woman cannot buy a pre-made costume that isn't uber sexified) and the devaluing of a huge, non-monolithic culture into one stereotype and we now sexualize that monolith, that stereotype. And that has huge consequences. 

See: above. 

I hope that made sense. I didn't want this to be a long post. I highly encourage you to do tons of research on the subject because there's SO much more to be said than I can articulate. 

Thankfully, I've spotted no Blackface pins, probably because at least costume manufacturers, while content to make money off of cultural appropriation and racism, seem to have some line they won't cross. That doesn't stop white people from taking it upon themselves to paint their faces to mimic another race every single damn year. Hey, people, stop it! Just stop it. No more blackface fullstop. 

Aaaaaand discuss. 

My First Halloween (in Portland)

Another year. Another Halloween.  And now it's over. *sigh*

This was a pretty good one, all things considered.

Earlier in the day, the roomies and I went to Farmers Market. Lots of people and kids in costumes:

He's a unicorn!

 Mario and the Princess. And get this: they were selling mushrooms!

 The lovely Melissa of Missionary Chocolates

 Steampunk Batman and Catwoman

 Cutest. Cowgirl. Ever.

 aaaand my ovaries just exploded

 She's a Stegosaurus. And totally stoked about Halloween.

Rosie the Riveter! (maybe my fave costume of the day)

The we went out salsa dancing at night. 

Here are my awesome Steampunk roommates:

Here's the shot you've all been waiting for, my costume:

 

 Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) a la Breakfast at Tiffany's (my fave movie)

Besties

The hair was a challenge and I had more hairspray in there than could destroy the entire ozone layer. 

Several people got my costume right off, mostly girls, but a couple guys too. At least 3 people thought I was Jackie O, who was gorgeous, so I'll take it. Plus, I think I may resemble Jackie more than Audrey in the face. So whatevs. Maybe I'll go as Jackie next year and wear a pillbox hat. And at least a few people guessed Mad Men. Which is right around the same time period, so awesome. 

My camera died so I didn't get many shots at the dance. But there were so cool costumes.

I danced a bit. Got molested whilst dancing with a little Latin man who offered me "private" dance lessons ifyouknowwhatImean. I politely declined. 

Got "the look" from a girl who thought I was hitting on her man when he was talking to me as I was just trying to order some water at the bar. C'mon lady! I don't want your skinny ass man. 

Made a couple of new friends but neglected to exchange any info. Brilliant.

And stood around looking Audrey-chic most of the night with my sunglasses (because I couldn't see shit with them on) and a martini glass (because Holly wouldn't hold a beer bottle).

frights and delights

I know you have been waiting to hear what my costume for Halloween was. I know. And I'll tell you, but I must admit, I have substantially less enthusiasm for this costume now. After the fact. And I'll explain why in a moment. But I shall keep you in suspense no longer. For Halloween, I dressed as myself at 19.

I am the one on the right with the tube top and tiara. I don't have a pic of the whole costume, so you can't see my platform shoes. But more on the tube top in a sec. The beauty to my left is Mo, who dressed as punked-out Rainbow Brite and I must say that she looked smokin'.

So, my costume. Dressing as myself at 19 may not have been my best idea. Not because I didn't look pretty cute, which I am hoping I did. And not because it wasn't a unique idea, which I maintain that it was. But because I didn't anticipate how it would make me feel. And that was like a 29 year old who is just trying to be 19 and it just didn't work.

I was terribly uncomfortable in that damn tube top all night. Partly because I just don't have that young confidence required to wear a tube top, the kind of confidence I had at 19. And partly because at 19, I was a good 20 pounds smaller, simply because I was young. I am usually comfortable in my body and I feel thin most days, but trying to be 19-year-old me comfortable in 29-year-old me's body just didn't feel right. Does that make sense? It's hard to explain. And it's okay that I'm not that small now. I have hips, I have an ass, I don't have boobs. But, whatever the reason, I felt like I had no business being in a tube top. I'll still sacrifice my dignity for bloggy purposes though. Here is the tube top in all its glory:

And here I am when I actually was 19 or maybe even 18 (I'm the one on the right):

The other unanticipated feeling was that it would seem that I needed to feel cute last night. I didn't realize that I needed to be noticed or checked out until I got out, amongst the costumed people and felt pretty much invisible. And I guess, if I am going to analyze myself, that after the rejection of this past month-ish, I just really needed to feel attractive. Now, to be fair to me, a girl in jeans just cannot compete with all the scantily clad girls out there, girls barely 21, just wearing lingerie with different kinds of ears. We even saw full-on ass cheeks. But that's just not me. And never will be. I will never be able to do the slut for Halloween thing because I wouldn't want to.

And compare that with Halloween 1999. I went to a frat party with girlfriends and we were hot tickets. I had to pry the boys off. Which is how it should be, you know? But I am not 19. I'm just not. Side note: Halloween 1999, I took a photo with a guy dressed as a Mormon missionary (because I was the only person there that recognized his costume) and I wish to hell I had a digital scan of that pic to show you but I don't. But, I do have a repeat of repeat of that incident from last night. It was like the time warp:

But there it is: me, already feeling uncomfortable and feeling unattractive to boot. And that just made me feel bad for myself and soon I was making lonely cat lady jokes and acting out an echo down there. Pretty ridiculous, I realize, but that's how I deal when I feel uncomfortable. I make fun of myself. So, last night was a bit of a train wreck, even though my friend's boyfriend, in an act of kindness, pointed out that two barneys checked me out at the end of the night. That was sweet of him. I think that next year, I may have a party. Something low key, amongst people I love, so that we all feel safe and loved and get a kick out of each other's costumes. I like that we're all too old and too dignified for the slut thing.

This blog got long, but I really want to post my Halloween photo awards!

So here we go:

The "scary" award goes to this guy. His costume wasn't scary, but he was. He even took off that pirate belt and used it as a whip.

This guy wins the "classic" award. Fear and Loathing with Hunter S Thompson is always a good choice.

And these girls win the "typical" award, proving that all you need for Halloween are tight dresses (or lingerie) and some kind of ears of horns. Don't forget the sorority girl sit.

This guy wins the "dedication" award. Anyone willing to dress up like a full-on Tin Man without any of the other WOZ characters, is okay by me.

The "super cute" award goes to this gal. She was adorable and was super sweet too.

This girl gets the "rockin" award, simply for completely owning Mr. Roboto and working the room like a pro.

And lastly, these guys get the "enthusiasm" award for bravely dressing as Hooter's waitresses and loved it when I called them sluts. They even started singing a slut chant. Awesome.

Happy Halloween

Autumn Falling

Autumn is arriving! MMMMM! It's all brisk and blustery outside and just chilly enough for a sweater and it's supposed to be decently cool tomorrow too. I can barely contain myself, despite the havoc that all this crisp and lovely wind is wreaking on my allergies. Who cares that my sinuses fell like the 405 freeway at rush hour (sorry for those outside of So Cal. The 405 is the world's longest parking lot. 'nuf said.). Who cares that my head feels like the inside of a drum at a death metal concert. I don't! You know why? Yes you do. You do! It's autumn!!!!

And I was going to go for a jog tonight (tube topage still happening on Saturday), but opted for indoor pilates followed by a large mug of mint tea which is currently being enjoyed under the cozy cocooniness of my most cozy comforter (hot damn! I love alliteration. and that all came out on its own!). By the way, I so need a new cover for this comforter. It's all old and getting dingy and has a nail polish stain on it which I'm sure a forensic investigator will feel compelled to test one day. But it's still warm and cozy and it makes the sound of the wind in the trees outside my window that much more delicious.

Good god whoever that is I love this season. You can feel the change in the air and it makes everything feel crisp and new and hopeful. Plus I love Halloween. Last weekend a bunch of us got together for a pumpkin carving party at the Farm. And while I do admit hanging out with all the happy couples and their happy children and happy puffy-cheeked babies did make me want to carve a noose out of my pumpkin, I did have fun. And the kids couldn't have cares less about the pumpkins. They had their own elaborate and very critical and immediate games to play involving pez and a cold hot tub (yes I recognize the oxymoronic nature of that, but kids games are intricate and don't have time to ponder oxymorons.. The adults, however, had a blast and here is the final result:

Don't ya love it? I love how creepy this is even though some of those pumpkins are super goofy and cute. See the one with the big, flirty anime eyes? That one is Mo's and it's pretty much my favorite. She's like the little coquette pumpkin, the little slut of the bunch. You can see how I would like that right? She's like me. Wait. What?

And here is my pumpkin (I made a little one too, but that photo didn't turn out):

It's a star pumpkin because I'm a supastar. WATCHOUT! *sizzle*

Anywayyyyy, so I'm excited for fall and it's keeping the ever-increasing desire to move more northward at bay. But I get to go to San Fran again this December for work (woot!) and possibly Oregon for Christmas to see one of my other besty of besties Lynn. So my butt will get to see better places if only for a bit.

And in that sentiment, here is a lady I love, Missy Higgins, singing "Going North" (natch). This song is gorgeous and captures how I'm feeling perfectly.

And I'm off to explore every boundary and every door.

unless you got buns, hon

Took my pretty Lola (oh, Lola is my car) into the shop today to get her poor little hangnail fixed. Shouldn't take more than a week, they said, but the hardest part will be matching the paint. Damn me and my fancy paint! Now, it's not like I ordered a fancy custom paint job when I bought this car last year. But when I was shopping, I fell in love with this purply (BTW, do we love that purply was a real word according to spell check? um, yes!) metallic blue. It's a kicky blue that looks purple in the sun and just so totally suits me.

Here is a picture of me avec my new baby Lolo last year when I picked her up at the baby store:

God, I can't believe how big my butt had gotten! I should explain. I've always been fairly thin and I've always been fairly active. About 5 years ago, when I was working in fashion (more on that another time), I gained a little weight due to stress and living on Red Bulls (evil, evil little Red Bulls. fuckers.), but it wasn't much and I dropped it quickly after I quit. But almost 2 years ago, when I started my first ever desk job (and a job with lots of gourmet, free food), I packed it on a bit. Now don't scoff. I realize that in that picture, I am by no means obese, but I was certainly bigger than I'd ever been and I just didn't feel healthy. I didn't feel like me. Plus, dudes, there was a reason I was wearing such a blousy shirt. I was puffy, not blind.

But besides being an active-type gal with my dancing and swimming and general love of the outside, I had never sat at a desk. My first job was in retail and for 7 or so years, I spent my days running around the floor of whatever store I was running. And it got worse the more responsibility I got. But my butt always stayed fairly small. Even when I worked in a TV production company office, the desk work was balanced with running errands, delivery tapes, and fetching a million things during a shoot. Small butt again.

The smallest my butt has been since I was dancing almost full time was when I lived in Europe. My little ass couldn't help it (get it? heh). I was walking everywhere, climbing 6 or 7 flights (don't really remember) up l'escalier du mort (the death stairs) up to my apartment in a 2oo year old building. Seriously, these stairs were like the stairs in Cinderella that the mice have to carry that huge key up. Only this wasn't a cartoon and that huge key was me. AND I still had dance class too. I got tiny. My poor cousin, god love her, thought I was starving myself when she came to visit. But, dude, I couldn't help it. I was eating all right. Pasta. Pastries. Bread. Custard. Gelato. Wine. Cheese. I was in food heaven in Paris. Seriously.

Before you all start stoning me for complaining about thinness. Give me a sec. We are all different and I think that when you're that active and walking everywhere, despite your body type, you're bound to tone up. I just happen to have a thinner type, so I got really thin. I like a little booty though, so when I got home, I didn't worry that I plumped a bit. It was nice. And for almost a year after I got home, I worked in retail again, at night. And I worked as a substitute teacher in the day. Talk about on your feet. In fact, my feet literally fell off. I had to get them sown back on. They just haven't been the same since.

But that damn desk. Now, don't get me wrong, I was (and still am) overjoyed to trade in my nurse shoes (ew) to sit at a desk and make enough money to pay my rent with one job, a job I actually like and am pretty damn good at. More than happy. But my butt just didn't know what to do. It was like a child that had never watched cartoons being introduced to the Cartoon Network. I became totally sedentary. Maybe not totally, but close to. And all that good food at events and meetings just contributed. My butt had gone to the dark side.

Well, that was over a year ago and I have since claimed my ass back for all that is good and holy (BAHAHAHA! like, I know what holy means. HAH!). I still enjoy the free food, just in moderation, and I've found a work-exercise balance. As I've said on here before, I've bounced around dance classes and I also like to jog and do pilates and sometimes yoga. It's a good balanced life and my butt is smaller on some days and bigger on others. Like normal people.

Next Saturday though, Internet, is Halloween, and I am wearing...wait for it....a tube top! I don't want to reveal my costume yet, but here's a hint: I am going as a real live person. A person in 1999. And I am going for authenticity here and that means I have to pull off a tube top. And that means my ass is working out every day this week. Every day. Every. Damn. Day. I am going for cute over frightening so this is crucial. I think it'll be okay. I just need to maintain the healthy eating and keep on exercising. I'll be hot stuff, just you wait and see.

So I realize that I started this post about my car and then drove way off in another direction. Oh well. Too bad. You didn't really want to read a whole post about my car, right? You'd rather read about my ass. See, this is how close we are getting, Internet. I just know how to anticipate your needs. Soon we'll be finishing each other's sentences. And that won't be creepy or pathetic at all.

Oh, also, Internet, I'll be changing the mastheads almost monthly now. But if you want to see the old ones, I'll upload them to my flickr feed which you can always find below.