Scene: my storage unit in Southern California. It's roughly 1,000 degrees centigrade and I have left my best friend and father to continue shoving my worldly belongings into the 10 x 10 space while I fetch electrolytes so we all don't die.
My father is packing a clear plastic tub in which three brightly wrapped condoms (which I've forgotten to remove) are clearly visible.
He mutters to himself: I hope she wasn't planning on using those after they've been in storage.
He turns around, notices my best friend behind him and says: Please don't tell her I said that.
So of course she did.
2 years ago