That's right. You heard me.
After all these years of The Sex, my vajayjay has to have what she thinks of as "luxurious" sexy time.
And the way things are going? Ain't never gonna happen.
Don't get me wrong, I've had some goooood sexy time. Sweaty, yummy, sexy time. Deliciously dirty sexy time.
The penises in my life haven't all been, shall we say, solid gold. A select few have been down right terrific in action, though. And I've even had a few magic Os during The Sex from time to time. True story.
But let's be honest. It's never been...extravagant. Never been coating in gold. I mean, really.
Even my solo time, which, well, you know, I know whats I likes, has never been as lavish as my hooha deserves. Now, I know how to make it happen and I don't want to put down Rosie, but she's an inexpensive red vibe that fit my budget. She's like the practical car of vibes. She does the job and never quits on me. She gives me 10 to fifteen O faces and I'm a satisfied gal.
But Rosie needs a pretty sister to look up to. Someone shiny and opulent she can look up to, can aspire to be like one day.
And my hooha? She needs more. She needs some sexy time out of my budget. She needs something lustrous and fancy and downright decadent to rock her world.
Which is why I need to win a 24K Gold Jimmyjane Vibrator.
You heard me right. 24K gold for your hooha. I don't even wear gold around my neck (teehee) let alone up my vaj.
It's time this lady had some luxury. And this luxury? is fully loaded.
Behold, the Jimmyjane Little Gold:
|See? I need this in me.|
Thus sayeth my lady friend Mommy Wants Vodka:
The Little Gold Vibrator is waterproof so you can take it with you into the shower or submerge it into warm or cold water to mix up your experience, should you like. For a vibrator, it’s incredibly quiet, which means that for those of you with children, your kids won’t be running in to see if aliens are attacking in your bedroom. The vibrator comes with a three year limited warranty, which is good for people like me who tend to break sex toys.
Does it sound better than that? Fuck me. Literally.
And as it happens? Toy With Me is giving one away (you know, those dolls who write sexy toy reviews?). I shit not. And I will win. Hell yes I will.
Do I have to continue to say why? I don't think I do. If you don't understand why my vajayjay deserves a little gold, well, then you must not have a vagina. Sucks for you and your single orgasm. That's right. I said it.
Vaginas rock. But mine would rock more with some gold vibrating goodness.
* This just in: I WON!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know a review will be happening right?