Friday, June 25, 2010

letters to the people in my town

Dear Annoying Guy Who Almost Caused a Car Accident This Morning,

Learn the difference between a dirt bike and a street bike.

Dear Lady Standing in the Doorway of the Walgreen's,

You stay still and I'll go around you.

Dear Spanglish-Speakers in the Sandwich Shop,

I love you. Don't ever change.

Dear Drivers Going 50 Through the School Zone,

Just because they're teenagers, doesn't mean they too can't not die at the hands of your monster truck.

Dear High Schoolers,

If you jaywalk, cars will hit you.

Dear College Students,

If you jaywalk, cars will hit you.

Dear Officer,

When you stare at me, I can't tell if you're contemplating arresting me or checking out my ass. Will you please let me know if I should be paranoid or flattered?

Dear Little Boy Standing in Front of Me in Line,

That cute way you're sucking on your stick of gum like a lollipop? Keep doing that. Girls will love you for it one day.

Dear Nice Teller at the Bank,

You're nice and all friendly-like. I appreciate it. But I kind of don't want to tell you my life story. I just want my cash, mmmk?

Dear Plant Lady,

You're weird. Stop touching my hair.

Dear Neighbors With a Screaming Child,

When you take your child outside to have a tantrum, his screams don't really compliment the sounds of my TV shows. Except Fringe. And House.

2 comments mean you love me:

TheTraveler said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Friggin hilarious as usual. Oh and the little boy sucking his gum like a lollipop? Well, it won't be just girls who will love him for it. =)

Andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates


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