Hot Mess Monday

So I fell down my stairs last night. Seriously. I did. Like a baby giraffe just learning to walk. Down stairs. Only that baby giraffe was wearing a long skirt that got caught under its feet in the process. Also, the giraffe has toes and its big toe jammed up into its foot causing searing pain and so the giraffe emitted a gawdawful yelping MOTHERFUCKER OWWW!.

The giraffe has a bit of a potty mouth.

So yeah, I fucked up my toe. I iced it a ton last night, but it still hurts today. And I've broken a toe before (The same toe, come to think of it.) and THAT shit hurts like a motherfucking sonofabitch (That's the technical term. At least, that's what the baby giraffe told me.), so I don't think it's broken. And it's not my toe exactly that hurts; it's more like the joint where my big toe connects to my foot. And now I'm getting shooting pains along the bottom of my foot to my heel. Fucking awesome!

Of course to add to that, I've also got The Period going on and my cramps are making want to strangle a small, male animal. But not a baby giraffe. Never. A baby giraffe.

And then the cabinet guys were supposed to come fix our crooked cabinets today, but they're not here yet, the fuckers. I swear to all things unholy if we don't get usable cabinets soon, I will transform into an adult giraffe and trample my smug fucking landlord's car. I know which one it is too. She parks right outside my house. Wunderbar (Spellcheck wanted me to change that to wonderbra. I considered it for a full 2 minutes.)!

Then I spent a good 15 minutes (which is like FOREVER, YO!) on hold with my student loan company to ask one tiny question only for them to tell me that I'm fine. Yup. Worth it. Totally worth it.

So you could say I'm a hot mess this jour. A hot fucking mess.

On the potential upside, I sent my resume in for an awesome kickass job this morning, a job that I'd be awesome at and would pay well (hopefully) and is closeish to where I live and is perfect. And I want it. A lot. If you can't tell. I want this job. If I don't get it, yours truly will be stripping soon. And we all know I'll be awesome at that.

And this last weekend waaaas pretty great so I can't complain too too much. Still doesn't make me a hot non-mess. But still. it was fun.

I still suck today. I'm still a pathetic hot mess. Maybe it's because it's Monday? OOH! New idea! Hot Mess Mondays! What do you think?

The baby giraffe thinks it's awesome. So there.

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