Monday, August 22, 2011

the kind of girl

I’ll admit that I was beginning to have feelings even though I’d told myself I wouldn’t.

He really wasn’t my type and we really didn’t have anything in common, including a common city. The 2 hour drive definitely made things difficult, but I was just beginning to feel it was worth it.

I’d held back as long as I could but was beginning to crack, to let him in, to really care.

He’d been in town the weekend before, which had been good. Blissful even.

I went for a run and came back sweaty and happy. Sprawled out on my living room floor, my head pulled to my knees, really deep into the stretch, my phone rang.

A smile immediately found me. “Hey, you.”

“Hey.”

We shot the shit for a few minutes. Talked about our days, work, the weather.

“Sooo when will I see you next?” Flirty, yes.

“Look. Things are getting busy at work and I don’t think you understand how demanding my job is. I’m a busy guy and you work a lot too, I know. You’re a lot of fun though. It’s just...”

It suddenly dawned on me what was happening. This wasn’t my first rodeo. “Are you dumping me?”

“I guess I am.”

“Over the phone? Seriously?”

“...”

“I just thought I deserved a little more than that. You were just here and you waited until now?”

“Look, don’t get crazy. I thought we were really getting along.”

“Um. Yeah. I thought so too. So I don't understand...”

“You’re a cool chick, totally fun. But you’re not the kind of girl you have feelings for.”

Despite my best efforts, a small gasp escaped me. Not the kind of girl you have feelings for? How does anyone hear that and respond?

In that instant, he stripped away from me my worth and tossed it aside like a dirty rag. Left me naked and broken. 

He spoke finally. “Look...”

I sucked up every last bit of strength and dignity. “I’m done here.” And pressed end with my thumb. End indeed.
 
Not the kind of girl you have feelings for. Two years later, it still haunts me.

This was a post for the RemembeRED prompt: We all have them. Memories that we wish we could forget…things that we wish we could banish from our minds. Imagine that writing down your worst memory will free you of it. What is it? Why does it haunt you? What could you have done differently?
Write it down and let it go. Let’s keep it to 600 words or less.

15 comments mean you love me:

Jenna said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

ouch.

Im so sorry you were dumped over the phone, and so cruelly spoken to. Im glad you hung up on him, too.

*HUG*

Karen said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You said, "How does anyone hear that and respond?" But, all I could think was how does anyone *say* that, out loud, to another human being?!

Great writing, great honnesty, "In that instant, he stripped away from me my worth and tossed it aside like a dirty rag. Left me naked and broken."

(((hugs)))

Random Girl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Woah, harsh! I could literally feel the gut punch that those words had for you. Pardon me saying so, but what a dick!!!
Been there, heard something similar, felt that worthlessness hit me. Then I hung up and go on with it. Glad you did the same.

Mandy_Fish said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Holy shit. That was beyond harsh. I mean, you have to be pretty creepy to say that to another human being.

Skye said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow. That just might be the worst breakup I've ever heard about. That would haunt me too, but I hope you don't think of it often. Clearly that dude has some kind of problem. Maybe someone dumped him the same way when they found out what an asshole he was!

Satan said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

there is NO SUCH THING as "not the kind of person you have feelings for"!!!!
that is such a cowardly cop-out. what a douche.

i had a similar experience with what then was the best relationship i'd ever had in my life - he said "i love you - but not in that way. can't we just be friends (with benefits, living together, saying i love you), why can't that be enough for you??"

idiots. asshats.

you gotta just leave their shit behind you - because that's exactly what it is!!!
THEIR shit. not yours.
not even remotely you, at all.

much love!

Yvonne said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oww! That hurt me! Great write, and proud of you for hanging up on him. What an asshole!

Erin said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

*THAT* was not cool! I would have been completely broken from that. Over the phone? really?

What a total ass!

Anastasia said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

And it's so obvious that he had the problem not you. What a douche. My ex-husband told me he wanted a divorce over an instant message. Why are people so stupid?

Elaine A. said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I glad you "end"ed it right away. What a jerk. And the sad part is he has no idea how badly his words hurt you. That makes me mad.

Where is he, I wanna kick his A$$!!

Cheryl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow. What an asshole. What makes someone say something like that to another human? What he meant to say is HE is not the type of person to HAVE feelings. Because he has a black stone where his heart should be.

The worst part is that his words still haunt you. For that I am truly sorry.

angela said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Awful that he could say those words, flippantly. Of course he did it over the phone. Of course.

Obviously, he was not worth your feelings, but I am so very sorry those cruel words have burrowed themselves into your consciousness, even years later.

Chasing Joy said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Wow!!! What an Asshole! Good for you for ending that call. It is a shame that words have so much power. I understand why that experience would haunt you. But I'm sure you are better off without him and maybe it took him saying something so horrible to show what type of person he really was. Stopping by from Remembered.

Suniverse said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Fucking wanker asshole piece of shit.

I will end him and his pitifully sorry existence.

YOU ARE WORTH ALL THE FEELINGS.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

How kind of him to do it over the phone instead of email. Sarcasm!

I hate douche bags. Hard. Especially ones who are douchey to you.

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