Motherfuckingheadache

Oh man, Internet, I am absolutely incapable for delivering a coherent and/or funny post right now because I've been stricken with The Headache. I get migraines sometimes, I do. And I'm not above medicating, but truth be told all I have is Pamprin in my house and with my head this shitty, I really do not belong behind a wheel of a massive piece of machinery. Thus, I will not go to the towns to fetch medicines. 

Though I've been told I'm funnier when I'm sick, I can barely make myself spit out complete sentences. It took me six times to log into my email this morning so I could tell my colleagues I wasn't making it in. Seriously. I'm. A. Motherfuckingmess. 

So I've just been trying to sleep, which is hard because it's also motherfuckinghot and I have a motherfuckingcat who is stoked that I'm home and keeps crawling all over me (note: I am going to be a terrific mother someday). 

Cat: purrpurrpurrpurr *crawlingalloverme* purrpurrpurrpurr 

Me: get the fuck off me, cat! it's hot and you can't sit still and my head hurts and you're not fucking helping. 

What did I say? Terrific. Mother. 

At this point, I'm feeling like I might tear out my eyeballs to make this headache stop, except I'm not exactly sure how that would help. But it sounds reasonable so I'm considering it. Don't judge me. 

On another note, it's been a big last two days for me. I got Twitter married to PretendWriter AND I now also have a Twitter mistress, one miss LizzyDanger. Two in one day. I believe congratulations are in order. I'm officially either a pimp or Bill Henrickson or both. Don't ask. It's just an absurdly funny thing and we're all running with it. It's why I love Twitter. But I am registered at Ikea and I expect all new furniture any day now. 

This post is derailing fast, so I'll leave you with some shameless self promotion. IF you lurve my blog, you should also be lurving my Facecrack page. And IF you likes my Facecrack page and you also have a blog, let me know and I'll promote your blog on my page. See how that works? Love. So much love. Conditions: You must "like" my page. And don't post your blog on my page, yo. That's just rude. Just email me the link at awesomecrazylady at gmail dot com (with your name too). I will read it when I find some time (so TRY to be patient) and I'll link up a post that I particularly like. Mmmmk, pumpkins? 

And here's a funny picture of a chimp (this is a chimp, right?)

Either he's been given a hard math equation to solve or someone just told him he's adopted. 

The line between distraught and confused is a thin one.