I have been going through everything I own to figure out what I will keep and move with me to Portland and what I will sell, recycle, or donate. In this process, I found one of my diaries.
It's worth noting that I used to have dozens of diaries growing up, all of them used up maybe 3 pages in and then abandoned. I guess journaling wasn't my thing back then. Maybe if they'd had the Internet back in the eighties, I would've discovered blogging and documented my young life in detail.
I have no idea what happened to most of those diaries, unfortunately, but today I discovered this one. I have no idea when I wrote this, because of course I didn't date it. But, considering the content, I'm guessing I was about 11.
I really and truly wish I could scan this and show you my most private preteen thoughts in all their ridiculous glory, but my scanner isn't working. You'll just have to believe me that I had awful handwriting. It does make me proud to note that my spelling and grammar were quite good. However, I may have overused the exclamation mark to the point of killing the damn thing. Poor exclamation mark, in the punctuation ICU. Someone send it flowers.
Description: the outside cover is a floral fabric (of course) and the inside cover is pink with black marker smudging out some inscription (no idea why). My name is scrawled in magic marker. Paper clipped to the first page is a card bearing the addresses of the agents of Leonardo DiCaprio and Eddie Furlong, I presume just in case I wanted to send them mail (remember when we sent actual mail?) and profess my undying love. There is only one entry (of course) and this is what it says word for word:
I heard that it helps to write your feelings out, so here I go!
Today I realized that even though I absolutely love Eddie Furlong & Leo DiCaprio, I love Josh Baroni more! Josh goes to my school & is so popular! He's way out of my reach, but he looks just like Leo! (sort of a quoinkydink!) They're both Major-Babes! I'm talking totally fine, here!
besides that, I've had a pretty boring day!
- see ya,Andrea
Yeah. apologies to Josh Baroni. If you're reading this, Josh, I'm way cuter now. I have an ass. Can't say much about my boobs. My feet are in proportion to my height. My skin is decent and I brush my hair. Oh, and I got my braces off in 1999. I also don't fall in love with 3 men at the same time, let alone with celebrities.
It's amazing, really. I was quite a smart girl. A bookworm. I won science fairs and speech meets. Yet, this is what I felt was the most important thing to record for posterity.
This is why I'm still single, btw.