Sunday, June 6, 2010

Diary of a Preteen Crazy Lady

Oh do I have a treat for you. Oh boy!

I have been going through everything I own to figure out what I will keep and move with me to Portland and what I will sell, recycle, or donate. In this process, I found one of my diaries.

It's worth noting that I used to have dozens of diaries growing up, all of them used up maybe 3 pages in and then abandoned. I guess journaling wasn't my thing back then. Maybe if they'd had the Internet back in the eighties, I would've discovered blogging and documented my young life in detail.

I have no idea what happened to most of those diaries, unfortunately, but today I discovered this one. I have no idea when I wrote this, because of course I didn't date it. But, considering the content, I'm guessing I was about 11.

I really and truly wish I could scan this and show you my most private preteen thoughts in all their ridiculous glory, but my scanner isn't working. You'll just have to believe me that I had awful handwriting. It does make me proud to note that my spelling and grammar were quite good. However, I may have overused the exclamation mark to the point of killing the damn thing. Poor exclamation mark, in the punctuation ICU. Someone send it flowers.

Description: the outside cover is a floral fabric (of course) and the inside cover is pink with black marker smudging out some inscription (no idea why). My name is scrawled in magic marker. Paper clipped to the first page is a card bearing the addresses of the agents of Leonardo DiCaprio and Eddie Furlong, I presume just in case I wanted to send them mail (remember when we sent actual mail?) and profess my undying love. There is only one entry (of course) and this is what it says word for word:

Dear Diary,
 I heard that it helps to write your feelings out, so here I go!
Today I realized that even though I absolutely love Eddie Furlong & Leo DiCaprio, I love Josh Baroni more! Josh goes to my school & is so popular! He's way out of my reach, but he looks just like Leo! (sort of a quoinkydink!) They're both Major-Babes! I'm talking totally fine, here! 
besides that, I've had a pretty boring day!
                             - see ya,
                                         Andrea


Yeah. apologies to Josh Baroni. If you're reading this, Josh, I'm way cuter now. I have an ass. Can't say much about my boobs. My feet are in proportion to my height. My skin is decent and I brush my hair. Oh, and I got my braces off in 1999.  I also don't fall in love with 3 men at the same time, let alone with celebrities.

It's amazing, really. I was quite a smart girl. A bookworm. I won science fairs and speech meets. Yet, this is what I felt was the most important thing to record for posterity.

This is why I'm still single, btw.

12 comments mean you love me:

mylittlebecky said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

this makes me chuckle. i wish i could find some of my old ones with "i love steve" everywhere. they were kinda ruined when steve fell out of favor.

Sarah P said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Josh Baroni: a stone fox.

Once, I read a preteen's blog. It was so fantastic.

She said something about her boyfriend. Then, she wrote something about a boy in her class. That sentence went like this: "OMG, he is so hott and like he has really cool shoes."

I giggled for hours.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Poor Steve. :)

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Josh Baroni had totally cool shoes! Way cool.

*giggle*

kyknoord said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh, I just assumed you were saving yourself for Josh.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I wasn't old enough to know it yet, but I wasn't saving myself for anyone. heh.

KLZ said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

What's up with DiCaprio BTW? Is he aging weird? Because he's still ripped but his face seems to be expanding....

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Is he? I've paid little attention to dear Leo since my teens, but that's funny. I'd rather he expand everywhere. But he sounds like a photoshop project. Must find photo of this forthwith.

Tonya said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm glad I don't have any hard evidence of the thoughts I had as a teenager. I think most of them would have to do with River Phoenix. Later on I latched on to Joaquin but it really hasn't worked out between the two of us. I think the ghost of his brother was always there with us.
Also, I'd have to agree with KLZ Leo is getting larger but just in the head. It's like he's becoming some sort of real-life bobble head doll. I hope Rachel Zoe didn't copyright that look.

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

oh I forgot about River! too bad for you and Joaquin. he never could live up to his brother.

we hate you. love, us said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

haha, I love this! Leo was oh so dreamy back in the day, but he just doesn't do it for me anymore. And the fact that you also mentioned Eddie Furlong is amazing. Whatever happened to him???

andygirl said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

right? Leo was so dreamy back then. *sigh*
um, am I completely wrong or didn't Eddie Furlong die? or maybe just became a crackhead?

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