You know what's exhausting? Allergies. They aren't like the commercials, people.
I never had allergies as a kid. Maybe it's because I spent like 70% of my time in a swimming pool and the chlorine literally cleaned me all out, but I never did. But as an adult? Yes, yes I do.
And my allergies in Oregon? Hooboy. Everyone is complaining about them. The air outside is so thick with pollen, it looks like it's snowing. Something, by the way, that I keep trying to capture on film, but the sun is too damn bright (something I never thought I'd complain about in Oregon). But it's not snow. It's not. It's tiny little balls of death sprung from the trees. This is how we will all die: not zombies, not nuclear holocaust, but pollen. It will kill us all.
It's no joke. I hate taking allergy meds because they make me feel crazy and they also don't release all this damned sinus pressure, so what good are they? I don't mind the constant sneezing; it's the headaches. My head has been killing me for a week and I'm about to go completely batty. It gets to the point where you just can't think clearly after a while. Accessing my brain is almost impossible, which is beyond frustrating and I'm sure everyone around me thinks I'm an idiot.
And if you know me at all, you know how much that pisses me off.
You know what else is exhausting? Fender benders. Dudes that run stop signs right outside your work parking lot and cause you headaches and stress because now you have to spend 2 weeks working out how to get your damn car repaired.
Dudes that run stop signs and then get out of their cars all smiley and shit and when you ask them if they saw the stop sign, they reply, "Oh no I didn't! Sorry! Oops!" Ooops my ass. You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. Sorry doesn't cut it.
You know what else is exhausting? Enterprise rent a fucking car. Your car finally gets repaired and you go to drop off your rental and you remember everything but your parking pass. But this isn't any parking pass! This is your pass to park downtown, your pass to park in the lot you were right outside of when a dude ran a stop sign and caused all this drama to begin with. This is a pass your employer paid for and is worth a lot of money because it costs a lot of money to park downtown.
But! You're smart and responsible and you noticed the pass was missing almost right away. And so even though you know the office is closed, you call Enterprise and you tell them you forgot the pass and they go out to the car and they find it (hurrah!) and they promise to set it aside for you to come pick up the next day on Saturday.
So you go on Saturday but they can't find it and the one dude helping you doesn't seem to care and doesn't seem to be concerned whatsoever that you basically just lost a 200 dollar bill that hangs in a window and so, after keeping calm for a half hour trying to impart how important, you finally lose your shit and you yell at the kid and you tell him it's not his fault, but he now has to fix this because you've done all you can do when losing a valuable and he needs to understand that it is valuable and find the damned pass because someone told you he found it and would have it waiting!
You realize it was your fault you left it, but you did all you could do and some kid in a suit promised you it was taken care of. Surely people lose valuables in rentals! Wallets and jewelry and such! Surely there must be rules for this kind of thing.
And you didn't want to lose your shit. You wanted to spend your day relaxing with your friend because it's the weekend, but instead you have to stress out in a damned portable building with too much ac because their customer service leaves much to be desired. And you didn't want to have to follow up Monday morning but that's what will be fucking happening because they didn't give you any other choice.
Oh joy. Oh bliss. Exhausting.
- Chicks who do it for me
- Lose Weight Fast with the Heartbreak Diet!
- Margaritas, Weed, and Slut Signals
- epic existential post just in time for that arbitrary changing of the calendar which I so love
- Public Service Announcement
- Horrifying Shit on Pinterest: Slut Shaming E-Cards
- Animal Monster Bird Squawk Dinosaur Creature
- My Doctors Always Suck, otherwise entitled Why I Hate Kaiser
- Sexy Saturdays: Slutty Saturday
- Homesickness, Anxiety, and Other Ailments