I have to say, it's not been hard to slip into. I always hear people who talk about how they could never work from home or couldn't not go to a job every day, but I think those people are rationalizing having to go to a job every day. AmIright?
I've been busy! I don't get bored, because I have tons to do and I get to do it in my pajamas or jeans or from my bed or a coffee shop. I've been working on my new website (please go check it out!) and ordering business cards and looking for work like crazy and (!) I've been exercising. Shocking, I know. With all the health stuff that had been happening the last year or so, it feels so great to have time to go for a long walk or hike and, now that it's rainy in Portland again, work out in my living room. And not being chained to a desk? So much better for my ever-widening ass, regardless of what my boyfriend says about how bootilicious I am.
I hate those people who talk about their workouts or get all sanctimonious about their health, but I have to say that I think the one big detriment to my health was work! Now that I have time to exercise and less stress and I've been getting sleep (both because I'm not stressed about going to work, but also because I don't have to get up at 6am), I feel great! Sure, I don't have any money and I have to hustle like karazay to get an income (hello, unemployment, ugg), but I feel good.
When I first moved to Portland, I worked from home for almost a year and it was the most glorious year of my life, second to living in France, bien sur. Today, I walked down to a coffee shop and met with my financial advisor (yes, I have one. I DID use to have a job after all.) and we talked about my plans and got my investments in order for this new phase, which also felt great! And now I'm sitting in the shop doing some writing and drinking a ginourmous tea and then I'll look for more work and then who knows! Maybe I'll clean my house or something.
|I think I'm scaring the other coffee shop people|
And then because I don't have much money, I have to be economical with my food purchasing, which ends up being healthier in a sense. It's cheaper to buy a bag of potatoes or rice and a block of cheese and maybe some eggs and make those stretch than eat fast food, which seems cheap but isn't. And, because I was raised pretty durn poor, I'm good at cooking those types of foods. Sure, I suck at cooking fancy foods, but I can't afford fancy ingredients right now anyway. And, again, I apologize if I sound sanctimonious, because mama loves a good burger and fries (oh yes she does), but being forced to cook more is helping my waistline.
I know I'm not FAT per se (I know okay? so stop telling me.), but I did gain a lot of weight this past year (blame it on being in love) and while I'm not in danger yet, I could easily get really fat if I don't change a few things. This year it's 25 pounds and then next year it's 30 and then the next thing I know, I'll be sewing my own mumus because no stores even make my size. A girl just has to keep that in check.
Besides, I can't afford to shop right now so it behooves me to not gain any weight. Because, you know, what would I wear?
I know I never updated anyone on my health/bladder situation, so here it is. I saw a bladder-gyno specialist (I forget his real title) and got the most uncomfortable exam of my life (though he was very kind and comforting) and discovered parts of my lady bits that I didn't even know existed (ugg) and he asked me a thousand questions and I had to keep a urinary diary (double ugg) and then consensus is that it's one of three (or two) things.
First, I'm not getting actual bladder infections (UTIs), but it could be an infection of the urethra or some other place with a big name that I can't remember but which wouldn't show up in a urinalysis. And there's no way to know if that's the case unless I get another infection.
The other thing it could be is endometriosis, which I know I have around my uterus and ovaries and apparently it's possible to attach to my bladder as well. Hooray.
Because I'm unemployed now, however, I also don't have insurance. So this great doctor saw fit to prescribe me antibiotics that target the lady parts, which I filled a couple weeks ago and can keep on hand in case another "infection" comes up. If those clear it up, that's probably what it is.
If those don't clear it up, it's probably endo, which the doc would first use a scope to look inside my bladder and/or do a laparoscopy to clean it all up (which would happily include my uterus too), but which is a minimally invasive procedure (still not awesome), and which I'd still need insurance to pay for. Zoinks.
And even though I've known about my endo for years and years, I've chosen not to have a laparoscopy because I prefer to manage with birth control pills, which I take continuously so as not to have a period. Glory be. And my old doc wanted to wait until I wanted to get preggers (because it gives you a fertility window), which he always wanted more than me, the judgey prick, but since I have no plans to get knocked up any any any time soon, I really didn't see the benefit when I can just skip my periods.
Of course, if it's causing my bladder issues, that's another story. But, again, insurance. Health care is so fucked.
But! I've been feeling good and maybe with my new, laissez faire lifestyle, I won't get sick and this is all moot. One can hope right?
Before I leave you, I'll beg you once again to go check out my new photography website and then go like the facebook page and then please tell your friends! Mama needs work! Me love you long time.