Thoughts on Jesus

A week or so ago, as my friend and I were looking at Christmas lights, we saw a house with a sign on the lawn that said:

A Savior is Born

JESUS

Just in case you were thinking it was a different savior whose birth is usually associated with this time of year. I can just picture the converstion that went into making the sign.

Let's make a sign that tells people a savior was born! 

Which savior? 

JESUS! 

Today, as I was driving home from Seattle, I saw a guy standing on an overpass with a huge cardboard sign that said, JESUS.

That was it. No other words.

I really wonder what the purpose of the sign was. Was it Jesus' ride from the airport? Was the guy worried that he might not recognize Jesus or that might get a cab instead? Or maybe Jesus was up on the overpass and he wanted us all to know. Or maybe the guy IS Jesus and that was his abnormally large name tag. 

I often wonder about religious billboards. You see many this time of year, but depending on what part of the country you're driving through, you'll be inundated all year round. But billboards seem to really only be effective for fast food or casinos. I don't really know that "God" is really going to get converts that way. Has that ever worked?

Has anyone ever driven down the highway, happy to be sinning, perhaps drinking and driving, looked at a billboard that said, "Repent, sinner, or DIE!" (an actually billboard I saw once) and thought, Well SHIT, I'd better repent then! ? I'd really like to know if that ever worked. Is anyone a minister or pastor or something? Have you ever gotten a new churchgoer who walked in and said, "So I saw your billboard..."?

Random Thoughts of a Crazy Lady

Why must guys on motorcycles idle their engines for like an hour? I don't know much (read: nothing) about motorcycles, but my inner logic (read: craziness) says it doesn't tale 60 minutes (I'm good at the math) to get the engine idled properly and thus enabling driving. Like, does that makes sense to anyone?

And why are motorcycle engines so loud anyway? Are they made of lawnmower engines? I mean, hell, I could jump on a lawnmower and ride around town too, but that seems inefficient. Though loud. Since loud seems to be the main goal here: he who idles the loudest must have the largest penis. Is that right? If my logic is right (which it usually isn't), I'd judge that by the loudness of the lawnmower engine in that motorcycle, the vibrations must be pretty strong. So either the guy is riding the biggest fucking vibrator ever (lucky bastard) or his junk must be completely numb and useless. And because I hate him for idling his hog under my bedroom window at the asscrack of dawn this morning (How dare he not know I had a headache!), I'm gonna assume the latter. Numb junk it is.

This is the dumbest effing thing I've seen in my young life. But I love it so hard. Why, jeebus? WHY? But I do know why. It's like Steven Hawking as a cat. Kind of. Not really. But that's where I go in my head (My head is a frightening place. Really. I rarely brush my hair. So who knows what's living in there. Cue: ew.). (Thanks, Lilu, for sharing this avec moi.)

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Have any of you heard about this:

I'm thinking, AWESOME, because that SOB totes owes me a My Little Pony that he promised me in 1986 if I obeyed my parents. We had a deal, Jesus!  We had a deal and I intend to collect. 

I really need to write about my furniture projects soon. I will, I promise. How is it I'm so busy when I'm so unemployed. Huh? HUH? Wait, I'm not that busy. I'm just incredibly lazy. There's a difference. There's a difference. 

I also made my new blog masthead for August and am dying to put it up now. Would you all judge me if I posted my August masthead before it was actually August? Would you think me stupid? Or a liar? Or just slightly inaccurate? *sigh*

I'm also totes trying to figure out the whole blog badge thing (I wanted to type blog bladge. Doesn't that just sound better?), both for meself (Why do we need these things anyway? ahhh peer pressure is the spice of life.) and for a new photo contest that TheSuniverse and I are concocting (and will be FULL of the awesome sauce). But I am apparently rocking the lame sauce on the whole html thing. Blerg.