Thoughts on Jesus

A week or so ago, as my friend and I were looking at Christmas lights, we saw a house with a sign on the lawn that said:

A Savior is Born

JESUS

Just in case you were thinking it was a different savior whose birth is usually associated with this time of year. I can just picture the converstion that went into making the sign.

Let's make a sign that tells people a savior was born! 

Which savior? 

JESUS! 

Today, as I was driving home from Seattle, I saw a guy standing on an overpass with a huge cardboard sign that said, JESUS.

That was it. No other words.

I really wonder what the purpose of the sign was. Was it Jesus' ride from the airport? Was the guy worried that he might not recognize Jesus or that might get a cab instead? Or maybe Jesus was up on the overpass and he wanted us all to know. Or maybe the guy IS Jesus and that was his abnormally large name tag. 

I often wonder about religious billboards. You see many this time of year, but depending on what part of the country you're driving through, you'll be inundated all year round. But billboards seem to really only be effective for fast food or casinos. I don't really know that "God" is really going to get converts that way. Has that ever worked?

Has anyone ever driven down the highway, happy to be sinning, perhaps drinking and driving, looked at a billboard that said, "Repent, sinner, or DIE!" (an actually billboard I saw once) and thought, Well SHIT, I'd better repent then! ? I'd really like to know if that ever worked. Is anyone a minister or pastor or something? Have you ever gotten a new churchgoer who walked in and said, "So I saw your billboard..."?

A hearty chuckle

As is usually the case, after Hot Pants goes out drinking, he passes out in my bed. Dead to the world. Doesn't matter how much he drank either. That man makes sleeping an Olympic sport. Good luck waking him up.

So, the other night, he'd done just that. Then I awake at some point in the middle of the night and can just make out his dark shadow standing in the corner of my room on my side of the bed. And he's walking into this chair I have in that corner like a bug in a windowsill. I can see outside, just can't figure out how to get there! Over and over, he's bumping into this chair.

So I go, "What are you doing?" And he goes, "LKJGJHTRDJG JYFG OINEFIYRBFWHFI NUIYB NUY." That's a direct quote.

I respond with incredulity, "What?" Which I felt was an appropriate response.

He says, exasperatedly, "The Xerox! I gotta move all the Xerox!"

So I calmly inform him, "You're not at work."

To which he replies, "THEN I HAVE TO PEE."

So I very forcefully point out that the bathroom is in the opposite direction and don't pee on my furniture or he may have to die tonight as well.

He did, eventually, make it to the bathroom and, I am happy to report, did not pee on my furniture or my carpet and still retains his life, but not before getting stuck at my desk chair (picture the bug again) thus necessitating the turning on of the light.

I have now told this story five thousand times to my friends and then all of his friends, but I can't help it. It made my whole week.


My man is nothing if not entertaining.