Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Saying Goodbye to Jeté

Many of you already know that Jeté is gone. About 3 or so weeks now. Losing her was a big part of why I went on blogging hiatus. I felt like I couldn't really express my feelings about her condition without getting a slew of advice that I just didn't want. And I just couldn't talk about it. I needed to do some grieving alone first.

I knew, even though I didn't want to face that I'd lose her, that she'd let me know when it was time. I knew that. And everyone around me telling me that I couldn't let her suffer and I needed to do the right thing just wasn't helping. The truth was, I'd already promised myself that I wouldn't let her get to the point where she was miserable. And I couldn't have pushed it much longer had I so chosen. She could still eat, still walk, still purr, still lots of things. But the last week, I'd come home and she'd cry at me and look at me with those huge eyes and I knew I had to make it better.

This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Holding a little life is your hands is a huge responsibility and I feel it's changed me.

But there's a great organization here in Portland called Compassionate Care that comes to your home so your pet's last moments don't have to be stressed out in a car or on a steel table.

I held her little body in my arms as she passed out and then passed away and it was the most beautiful and most horrible experience.

I missed her instantly.

I miss her terribly. Oh I go on about my day and life is fine and for the most part things are happy. But her absence is still distinct. Hobbes misses her. He's so lonely, poor guy. He's been attached to my hip like he never was before, cuddles with me now, falls asleep on my hand, sleeps on my bed. Like the whole world has changed. 

How does it ever stay the same? 


For Jeté from Andrea Anthony on Vimeo.

18 comments mean you love me:

Fabulously Awkward said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm so very sorry. Pets really become such a part of our lives and a part of US. I can't imagine the pain you have felt. I am sending you good vibes...I hope the pain fades soon and all that remains are the good memories of the times you had.

El Gato said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Big hugs, for you and Jete'.

Alex@LateEnough said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I glad you held her as she passed. I did that for Tobias and although it was so hard, I'm glad I was there right up until he left us. I hope Tobias and Jeté are rockin it together.

Dana said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

you gave her a wonderful existence while she was here - embrace that. i am so very sorry for your loss - and for Hobbes. sending many, many hugs.

Kittie Flyn said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm so sorry to hear about Jete. Sending virtual hugs through the blogosphere.

Poppy said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm not much of a hugger, but for you...a big one that I really really mean.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

ughhhh, that video was so hard to watch! i never even met the cat and i'm getting all teary-eyed. i can't imagine what it will be like when my Biscuit gets to that age...

i'm sorry for your loss. :(

Skye said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm so, so sorry for your (and Hobbes') loss. Remember that you gave Jete a happy life and all the love she deserved. That is the best we can do for our animal friends. You are a great kitty mommy and she was very lucky to have you. Compassionate Care sounds wonderful- I'm glad she was able to leave the world peacefully and in your arms.

Mel said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

*big hugs* for you and Hobbes.... *blows a kiss* for Jete
Much love and kindness.
XO

Miss Yvonne said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I'm so sorry.

This is so weird, because I am going through this exact same thing right now. My Boo kitty is terribly ill. I have been waiting for him to give me a sign, and it appears that he is about ready to do so. I'm trying to prepare myself, but I know it will be awful.

Just wanted to tell you that I understand.

Simone Says... said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

oh my dearest. i'm so sorry. i know that pain very well. and there's nothing except time that heals the broken heart. stick with hobbes, he needs you. jete will always, always be with you wherever you go. i'm sending you enormous hugs. you're not alone. keep writing. xoxo

Nubian said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I have no words. Hugs. :`(

alonewithcats said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

You made so many wonderful memories with Jete. She was a lucky kitty to be loved by you.

Michon said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Hugs to you!

Ali Oh said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I cried reading this. A lot.

Yuliya said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

I am so sorry for your loss. So sorry. This is the thing that kept me from having a pet for so long, I knew that this moment would come (will come) and I just don't know if I could handle it. Big hugs for you.

Sarah P said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

Oh, no. It's never the same. So sorry for your loss.

mylittlebecky said...Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

i'm so sorry, andy. i always tell people they will know when it's time. you just know. i loved the picture montage, it was lovely. and hugs to you. i'm glad you were able to get some time to grieve. that's so important.

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