I have a question for you.
Actually, I have to make two points before I get to my major point. It's important that you understand my back story in this case so that you can sufficiently laugh and me and feel sorry for me. Or something. I'm not sure. Whatever. Go with it.
Point one: I don't do that whole Web MD crap. I'm sure it's great and probably helps a ton of people, but being as I am the daughter of a total hypochondriac with a not so tiny prescription drug addiction, I don't want to unlock any weird fears in myself. I don't want to type in the symptoms for a cold and have the web tell me I have the Bubonic Plague.
Children of hypochondriacs have to walk a fine line between reasonable concern for our health and not wanting to overreact to something small and thus sound like a nutjob in the ER.
Point two: I don't like bathroom humor. Or I don't mind it, but I don't participate in it. I'm not offended by fart jokes or whatever, but I'm unlikely to make them.
That's because I don't do things like fart or burp or barf or whatever else you do in the bathroom. I've always been embarassed about that, ever since I was little. Freud would tell you that's why I'm so anal retentive. I say to Freud, my attention to detail and need to control my life only helps the world around me function properly. So there.
For some reason though, I've never had any problem discussing pee or announcing to the entire world and their persnickety grandmothers when I have to pee like a racehorse on death row. Wonder what Freud thinks about that.
I even actually said the word poop in a comment on a friend's blog the other day and you know what? I didn't die! Maybe I'm growing.
So it is with these two points that I finally tell you my very short and potentially pointless story. I've been having stomach issues lately. Again. You don't know it's again because I don't like to necessarily share my stunning digestive pyrotechnics (name that movie).
I've always had a sensitive stomach. I store all my stress there. I had horrible heartburn as a little kid and the doctor had me on all sorts of antacids and dietary hoopla, but he probably just should have prescribed some therapy.
I've had docs decide I was lactose intolerant (I'm not) (and the test period was the worst month of my life) (I love cheese). I've had a colonoscopy (all clear) and steroids meds (I guess to make things work?) which made me feel worse. It's not IBS. It's just that I have a sensitive stomach. And it comes and goes.
Lately, I've been getting nauseated super easily. One beer and I'm not even drunk, but I'm still expelling five days worth of potent potables. My roommates must think I'm bulemic.
So that is how I found myself the other night. I hadn't even had alcohol, but I'd eaten rich food (I love rich food) and I barfed (look at me! discussing barf!) so violently that my face became super red and even tingled, as if all the blood in my body shot into my face at once. Well that can't be good, amIright?
So that sucked. But my question to you is not about my stomach issues. The problem is that now I have these teeny red bumps on my eyelids and around the frame of my face, like they're maybe broken capillaries or something.
Do you think that's what it is? If so, does it go away? Can I treat it?
I'd provide photos, but they're so tiny that the camera didn't pick them up.
Thanks, readers. You're better than Wed MD.
If anyone says I have the Plague, I WILL find you and kill you.
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